i love you, jaime

There are a lot of great spiritual teachers out there: The Dalai Lama, Eckhart Tolle, Pema Chodron. These wise souls help us reconnect with Divine Oneness, the truth of our Being.

But there’s one spiritual teacher who’s been virtually ignored.

Despite efforts to bring her teachings to the mainstream, her wisdom has been obscured by her coquettish smile and her dazzling 70’s hairstyle.

That’s right, I’m talking about Jaime Sommers, aka The Bionic Woman.

i love you, jaime

(And just for the record, when I say “The Bionic Woman,” I mean, “The Bionic Woman, aka Jaime Sommers, as played by Lindsay Wagner in the 1970’s television show.” There is no other.)

Regular readers of this blog know that I recently revealed my secret crush on this amazing 70’s icon.

But what you don’t know is how deep she is.

And I’m not talking about the alluring depth of those silky, golden locks.

I’m talking about hardcore, spiritual wisdom.

So now, for the first time EVER, it’s time to reveal the scintillating spiritual secrets of the world’s most neglected sage!!

­­­5 Reasons Why the Bionic Woman Is My Spiritual Teacher

1. She Was Resurrected From the Dead

i love you, jaime

Soon after the Bionic Woman became bionic, her body rejected her new hardware. Tragically, she died on the operating table.

Or did she?

Miraculously, a team of doctors was able to freeze her body and repair the damage that ended her life. Her heart was restarted and Voila!

She was born again! Resurrrected from the dead!

I’ve also heard she walked on water and turned the Bionic Man’s club soda into chardonnay, but I have yet to attain documented evidence for these assertions.

Give me time.

My point is this: Our friend Jaime Sommers looked death in the face and laughed. Her rich appreciation for life’s wonders comes from the perspective of someone who has been to the edge and back again.

Jaime Sommers: 1. Death: 0.   

2. Nothing Escapes Her Awareness

i love you, jaime

As part of her bionic rebuilding, Jaime got two bionic legs, a bionic arm and a bionic ear.

The bionic arm and legs are seriously groovy – she can zip along at the speed of a locomotive, à la Superman, and can toss your mother across a football field.

But what’s really cool is her bionic ear.

It gives her the ability to detect any sound, anywhere, regardless of volume or frequency.

In other words: Jaime hears all, Jaime knows all.

If you call out in the middle of the night – Jaime, I need you – she’ll hear you! And she’ll come running on those freakish legs of hers.

That’s my kind of spiritual teacher.

3. She’s a Shapeshifter

i love you, jaime

In her work with the Office of Scientific Intelligence, Jaime was often called upon to go undercover.

Some of Jaime’s guises included a nun, a police officer, a college student, a flight attendant, a singer, and a professional wrestler.

Combine this with her I-looked-death-in-the-face fearlessness and her supercharged hearing, and what do you have?

A kickass nun, an enlightened police officer, and an empathic professional wrestler.

Jaime Sommers has the ability to go beyond the boundaries of her singular persona and bring her extraordinary wisdom to any human role.

Plus she looks really hot in her cop outfit.

i love you, jaime

4. She Is Both Human and Divine

i love you, jaime

The Bionic Woman was not without her faults.

Her bionic legs once exploded when she jumped from an excessive height. And extreme cold can cause her bionic parts to malfunction.

But this just makes her more sensitive to the limitations of ordinary mortals.

When Jaime was first told of her bionic status, she was worried about being a freak.

But she eventually came to accept her special powers, and made a commitment to use them to help others.

Special and ordinary. Limitless and limited. These polarities are what make Jaime Sommers so amazing, so captivating, so Divine.

5. She Practices Non-Violence

i love you, jaime

While the Bionic Man often employed violence to complete his missions, Jaime Sommers rarely did so. On the few occasions Jaime was called to use her bionic strength against a human opponent, she never resorted to deadly force.

We’re talking Gandhi with blonde highlights.

Indeed, the spiritual juju of the Bionic Woman is so profound that Lindsay Wagner, the actress who played her in the original series, now gives seminars about spirituality and meditation.

‘Nuff said.

If you’re not yet convinced of the extreme spiritual mojo of the Bionic Woman, I invite you to replay a moment of my adolescence:

First, you’ll need a pack of Nestles Semi-Sweet Chocolate Morsels. Follow the recipe on the package for Nestle’s Toll House Cookies. When the cookies are done, stack a pile onto a plate and bring them into your TV room. Settle into your beanbag chair, and tune into any episode of The Bionic Woman.

As the cookies melt in your mouth and you watch the zany-yet-profound antics of our heroine, I think you’ll find yourself exclaiming, as I did at sixteen:

It doesn’t get any better than this.

And that, my friends, is the power of the Bionic Woman.

i love you, jaime

Who’s your favorite superhero spiritual teacher? What have they taught you about life? Share your comments below!

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