photo: Stig Nygaard on flickr
Have you ever had contact with something Bigger than yourself?
And I’m not talking about a phone call with the I.R.S.
Or an offer to join the Publisher’s Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
I’m talking about Something so big, so vast, it takes your breath away. Something that reminds you who you are, and what you’re made of.
I guess if you’re super enlightened, you could find this Something everywhere, including the I.R.S. and Publisher’s Clearinghouse.
But given that I’m still inching my way to super-enlightened status, I took a different path. I found this Something on stage.
photo: Will Bakx
Here’s what happened:
A while back, Melissa and I did music for the Sunday services at the Center for Spiritual Living Santa Rosa. I’m blessed to be married to a gifted singer and songwriter – that would be Melissa – and this particular Sunday, we were performing two of her newest songs.
One of these songs, entitled “All is Well,” is one of my favorites. The song starts out like this:
I release and let go
Of what isn’t mine to carry.
I let go
And I dwell. . .
In the space in between.
In this silent sanctuary
I know
All is well.
Every time I’ve played this song with Melissa, I go into a trance. And by trance, I do not mean that I’ll do wacky tricks upon request, like those people who get hypnotized and start barking like a dog or reciting the alphabet in Arabic.
photo: cushing memorial library on flickr
This trance is way better than that.
I feel like I’m floating along with the music. Melissa’s voice and the words of the song, along with the notes coming out of my fingers on the piano, combine to create a magical bubble that carries me along until the song is over.
This Sunday morning was no different. The Center has three services, and the first two allowed me to experience the magical-bubble effect like usual.
And then came the third service. That’s when things got really good.
First I need to back up a minute, to put things in context.
At the time, I was working with Linda Marshall, who does Craniosacral Therapy. When she was first talking to me about how this particular form of therapy works, she described a huge force, which she calls Love, that directs the movement of the treatment.
She said that anytime she tries to step in and intervene, this force backs off. But when she remains a gentle guide, this Love energy can come in and work Its magic.
After my first treatment, Linda was talking about how my particular system reacted to the therapy. She said there’s a component in me that she described as “will”. This is the part that thinks I need to do everything myself.
She reminded me that this part can relax, and that I can allow the bigger force to do Its work.
And so I found myself, a few days later, sitting in front of the piano for the third Sunday morning service.
Before I started to play, I closed my eyes. All of a sudden, I felt this huge energy, like a gigantic river. And I knew that the river was the song I was about to play.
I heard a voice say that this river would always be there. I could step into it at any time. And every time I stepped into it, it would be different.
I also heard that I could give myself fully to this river. That I didn’t have to be afraid.
And so I opened my eyes and began to play.
The magical trance bubble was there, like usual. But now I knew it to be a river. A big, endless river. And I was not only carried along by it, it was inside me as well. I was allowing the river to make me bigger, to make the music bigger through me.
This lasted the entire song. And then it was over.
But it wasn’t over, because of the hugeness of what had happened.
It took me a few hours to remember the Craniosacral Therapy, and the link between the two. But I finally got it.
The river is my life.
That life force is always there, waiting for me to step into it. It’s way bigger than me, and it’s different every time.
But I can give into It. I can trust It.
Ultimately, the river is in everything I do. But there are certain activities – like music – that make it easier to apprehend.
We all have this ability to remember and experience the river. And every one of us has our own unique way of experiencing it.
Maybe it’s through music. Or art. Maybe it’s being in nature. Or in physical activity like running or dancing. Maybe it’s yoga or meditation.
Whatever it is, give yourself to it! Allow yourself frequent excursions to this place.
Eventually, you’ll be able to experience it everywhere. In everything.
Even the I.R.S.
photo: Jason Paris on flickr
How do you experience the river? Share your stories!
For more on my on-stage antics, go here and here and here.
Wow! I mean !WOW!…that is exactly why at the retreat where we met, I felt like changing my name to River (even though I was born as Kristin). I feel it most when I am either praying or when I do public speaking about It or singing. I have resisted It. I have splashed in It. I adore seeing It in the eyes of those around me. I call this river Spirit that flows through all of us. Im still working on experiencing It in my taxes!
Much joy,
River
Hi River,
Wow is right. How awesome. Thank you for articulating your experience with this Thing that can be given so many names, including the River. I love that in naming yourself in such a way, you are continually being reminded to dip into this Place. Wow indeed.
XOZ
Thank you for sharing your experience Z of trance-ing your way through All Is Well in the third service. I thought it was just me–that sound is profoundly moving! But then I started glancing at you. You were in another zone all together, as was Melissa. I could feel my body flow with the current (of the river, perhaps?). Most of my “spiritual experiences” don’t happen at church–this was amazingly wonderful. Thank you to you and your sweetie.
Hi Jo,
Cool – you were there! I love having confirmation of my trippy adventures. I’m grateful for the experience as a whole, and also grateful to know that I wasn’t the only one in the River. I mean, ultimately we’re all in the River, but sometimes we don’t know it. At least, I don’t always know it. I’m rambling. Thank you for your comment! 😉
XOZ
I meant “song,” not “sound” (above). When I’m in a post-trance syndrome I apparently can’t type.
Ah, “sound” made sense too. Maybe post-trance syndrome means that more words make sense. Maybe.
I read this before I went to work this morning and it stayed with me all day. Was a wonderful image and helped me to remember to relax and”flow” through the day…could feel it within. In meditation last year I had a beautiful white bird (who I named Horizon), come to me and she has “carried” me on her wings many times, but the flow was different. Thank you so much for this great article, your wonderful inspiring music, fabulous silliness, and that beautiful smile…you rock!!!
Hi Barbara,
I love hearing the different ways that the Divine manifests in our lives. The beautiful white bird sounds awe-some. Like you say, a different kind of flow. But still the Flow. I guess there are infinite ways for It to manifest, after all. Thank you for your appreciation. 🙂
XOZ
LOL – IRS. We have some joy around here at income tax time each year. My feller, Mark, receives a surprise letter from Uncle Sam in which said uncle thanks Mark profusely for supporting him in the past and expresses appreciation to Mark for the support that he’ll be sending in the form of this year’s taxes. As we think of helping our beloved and appreciative uncle, we almost jump for joy at paying our taxes. (Well, I do anyway. Mark’s making progress.) If we send our taxes by snail mail, we actually put hearts on the envelope. (Well, I do anyway. Mark’s not on board.)
I don’t know if we’ve exactly found the river in the IRS, but we’ve found some fun. (Well, I have anyway.)
Thanks for another insightful and entertaining post, Z.
Hi Karen,
Hearts on the envelope! I like! I appreciate your ever-growing-in-love relationship with your beloved uncle. Way to cultivate the fun!
I try to add to the merriment with my Sponge Bob Square Pants checks. I’ve never even watched a whole episode of Sponge Bob, but when the bank lady asked me if I wanted something other than the standard pale-blue checks, as I asked for my options. The minute she mentioned Sponge Bob, I said – That’s for me! Writing checks just keeps getting better and better.
Thank you for another awe-some comment! 🙂
XOZ
Z this is a must read for all our One Heart Choir members! Thank you for putting into words what is REALLY happening when we become transparent and allow spirit to roll through us. Beautiful! I adore and admire you so much for the way you keep giving your self up to, or in to spirit. And I feel blessed to get to share in a dynamic loving music ministry with you (And Melissa!)
Hi Claire,
I like the way my “Optional” email to the choir about this blog got bumped up to a “Must Read” by you. Nice!
Thank you for being such an inspiration – musically and otherwise – to our ministry. Looking forward to Easter Sunday and playing with the One Heart Choir.
XOZ
Haha, Z, Sponge Bob Square Pants! I like the way you think.
😀
Hi Z,
Your experience sounds wonderful!! I visit that SPACE very often – usually daily. If music transports you in the gap, have you tried selfeggio frequencies? Very amazing.
Did you set an anchor while in that state so you can go there instantly at any time? That’s one of the methods I use and it only takes about 7 seconds to put myself in the light using my anchor.
BTW, I love your slogan and this looks like a cool, authentic and interesting blog — right up my alley!
Be Your Best,
Dave
Hi Dave,
Welcome to the site! Great to have you here! 🙂
I don’t know about selfeggio frequencies, but I will check it out. Thank you for the heads up.
As for the anchoring, I wasn’t using that term, but I have a way of getting “back there” that sounds kind of similar. I like the word “anchor.” It evokes a grounded-ness to the Light state. Cool!
Come back again any time! 🙂
XOZ