z egloff
I admit it.
I care what other people think of me.
Though not nearly as much as I used to.
But even much-less-than-I-used-to is still too much for me.
So lately, I’ve been working on letting go of other people’s opinions even more.
Or should I say, what I think their opinions are.
Because, really, it’s the made-up stuff in my head that really gets in my way.
My super-crafty mind comes up with all kinds of ideas about what other people are thinking about me, most of which – when I have the opportunity to check them out – are not true.
With that in mind, I recently came up with a wacky technique that’s really helping me release my concern about other people’s opinions.
z egloff
My concern about what other people think is exacerbated by a specific phenomenon.
Namely, that when I’m out in the world, I often get stared at.
And just for the record, this is not a crazy paranoid fantasy. Melissa can vouch for me on this.
We both assume the Frequent Staring By Strangers is because I’m so androgynous.
And I get it. If I see someone who’s super androgynous, I want to look to.
Most people are probably staring because they want to figure out if I’m a man or a woman.
Other people are probably looking because they want to know how I attain such smooth and bodacious Farrah-Fawcett-like hairstylings.
z egloff
Oh wait, my hair looks nothing like Farrah Fawcett’s.
z egloff
I actually have no idea why people might be staring at me.
That’s where the crazy comes in.
So here’s what I do now instead.
Let’s say Person A is giving me the ol’ stare down.
z egloff
I used to imagine that the contents of their head looked something like this:
z egloff
But how do I know that’s what they’re thinking?
Chances are, the contents of their head look more like this
z egloff
Right?!
I mean, we think it’s all about us. But it’s really not all about us.
Most people are way more concerned about themselves than anything else.
After all, that’s why we think other people are thinking about us. We’re thinking about ourselves. Why wouldn’t they be too?
But they’re not!
So the next time you find yourself worried about what someone might be thinking about you, just imagine the list in their head.
And the fact that you’re Item #158 on that list.
z egloff
How do you let go of other people’s opinions? Share your comments below!
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Very clever. You got me laughing with that list of what others are actually thinking.
I used to assume that people might be quick to think negative things about me: “She’s too short, too old, has too many cats, has never won a Nobel and probably never will” …on and on and on.
I could get very creative about what I thought people were thinking about me that was less than favorable.
And then I began asking myself, “How do I WANT people to think about me?” And I started imagining a drastically different scenario: “She’s cute and petite, she’s mature and wise as all-get-out, she has the perfect number of cats and could probably win a Nobel, an Oscar, a Grammy, a Pulitzer, and an Emmy if she set her mind to it.”
Since we generally don’t know what people are thinking of us (as you aptly point out) and we make things up in our noggins, I decided to deliberately make good-feeling things up about their thoughts.
Why the heck not? It’s fun, creative, and I just might have a Nobel in the oven. Or at least a “I cleaned up the side of the road” award. I’ll take it all, and I’ll feel pleased. 🙂
Hi Karen, I LOVE this. What a wonderful list! You’re awesome. This is such a great use of the creative mind. It not only makes you feel better, it uses your mind in a vibrant and creative way. I think you should get a Nobel for Creative Mind Usage! 🙂 XOZ
Haha — yes, I think I will probably be nominated in that category just as soon as they add it to the Nobel prize structure, and I hope that they’ll be quick about it! Meanwhile, I’m going to study up on what’s ’round the town in Stockholm.
Thanks, Z & Meli, for your wonderful, wise, and witty posts!
You’re welcome. And thank you for your comments and devoted readership. We really appreciate it!! 🙂
Hi Z, This was a wonderful article for me as I too have been way to concerned about what people might be thinking of me. Like you, I am improving, and thanks to your brilliant creative ideas, I can have fun now as I retrain my mind! I just love comedy!!! Thanks & “Rock On”! Sam
Hi Sam! Glad that you liked this wacky little technique. IMHO, everything really does get better when we can laugh about it. Rock On Back Atcha!! XOZ