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Does Your Partner Need to Be on a Spiritual Path?

photo:   Balint Földesi on flickr

photo: Balint Földesi on flickr

Dear Meli –

I have had a regular spiritual practice for about ten years. It has changed my life for the better in more ways than I can say. A few months ago, I started dating a guy I met through a mutual friend. The relationship is everything I ever wanted, except for one thing – he doesn’t have a spiritual practice and isn’t interested in having one. Other than that, he’s perfect for me. How important is it to have a partner that’s also on a spiritual path?

Solo in San Francisco

Dear Solo,

First of all, I think there is nothing like the magic of new love! It is most certainly a reflection of you loving you at a new level! Yay for THAT!

Second of all, I think the answer to this question is subjective, but I’ll share some thoughts about it.

If your spiritual practice is a central part of your life, then the answer would depend on how well your partner is able to receive or respond to (and perhaps empathize with) this part of your life.

If he in any way minimizes your spiritual path or practices, this could be very challenging!

Yet, if he doesn’t have a spiritual path of his own but still honors yours, maybe that would be perfectly workable! I know of couples who share in everything but this, and do just fine.

Also, it can be good to look at your definition of spiritual path. Some people have ways of connecting with Spirit that go outside the typical definition of what a spiritual path is supposed to be – walking in nature, for example.

I have found that for myself, having a partner on a spiritual path (though not necessarily the same as mine) has become deeply important to me. But then, I am also completely devoted to my spiritual path. It is my highest priority.

That said, I imagine that the answer to your question is in your own heart, given that you wrote to ask me. The answer is worth pondering.

If it were me, I think the most important thing would be that if I didn’t feel I could talk with my beloved about the spiritual aspect of my life, I’d make SURE I have SOMEONE I can talk to about it. And I would make sure I connect with this person regularly, in order to share this sacred aspect of living.

Please let me know what you decide, and how it goes!

Remember, relationships are a reflection of YOUR consciousness. If your current relationship is not the best fit for you, it’s a step closer to an even better one!

Blessings and Love in All You Do,


What is your experience of partnership and spirituality? Share your comments below!

Have a question for Meli? Interested in a private session (in person or Skype)? Contact her at meli@ohmygodlife.com

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4 Responses to Does Your Partner Need to Be on a Spiritual Path?

  1. Gwen February 12, 2015 at 2:50 pm #

    Thank you, Meli! I love this!

    I agree with you that it depends on your definition of a spiritual path. My partner has a very different approach to spirituality than I do, but we still manage to get along just great.

    Like the Dalai Lama says, “My religion is kindness.” When we have that, we have just about everything!

    • Melissa Phillippe February 13, 2015 at 3:35 pm #

      Hi Gwen.

      I totally agree. And how awesome that your relationship works with that kindness as its Center. :-)

      Thanks for writing!,

  2. Tim March 13, 2015 at 2:10 pm #

    I had a partner who was not into the spiritual path and it ended up getting in our way. We parted friends, and in the long run we each ended up finding someone who was more compatible. For me, having a companion who understands spirituality is crucial. I know that this isn’t the case for everyone, but I realized that it is the case for me.

    • Melissa Phillippe March 17, 2015 at 3:08 pm #

      Hey Tim,

      How fabulous that you both found more fitting folks! I, too, can’t imagine it working for me to be with someone who isn’t deeply devoted to they spiritual evolution. But I’ve seen many others for whom this is a wonderful thing! You know that saying…to each their own. :-) But I LOVE that in your experience, you were also able to part friends! This is a beautiful thing!

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