photo: madmolecule on flickr

So, you’re a Goofball. But do you know what kind of Goofball you are?!

The other day, I was reading an article in Elephant Journal about Ayurvedic types. It got me thinking:

What about Ayurvedic types for Goofballs?!

I know, we’re wacky and unpredictable, but what if we’re also classifiable? (And I mean that in only the nicest of ways. . . .)

It is to this end that I, Dr. Z, have designed the following quiz.

Grab a #2 pencil and write down your answers to the following questions. (If you can’t find a #2 pencil, a #3 will do just fine. Or a pen is also great. Or you can write in the dust on your desk. You’re a Goofball, after all! You can do whatever you want!!!)

photo: jakeliefer on flickr


1. The best way to make your friends laugh is to:

A) Entertain them with your spastic interpretive-dance moves

B) Tell off-color jokes while performing athletic stunts

C) Sit on the couch with a cold beverage, cracking jokes

2. Which Goofball comedian is most like you?

A) Jim Carrey

B) Eddie Murphy

C) John Candy

3. You’re in a band. You’re a badass, idealized version of yourself. You’re:

A) The guitar player – a sinewy virtuoso with lightening-speed licks

B) The lead singer – charismatic, athletic, and hot

C) The bass player – chill and steady, inside and out

4. You tell a joke and it doesn’t go off as planned. Do you:

A) Spaz out in an attempt to get a laugh another way

B) Get pissed at the jerks who don’t get your humor

C) Order a pizza and drown your sorrows in reruns of M*A*S*H

5. Practical Jokes: What’s your take?

A) “I don’t like them – they make me anxious.”

B) “They’re okay. It’s fun to mess with people.”

C) “I don’t want to think about it. I need a nap.”

6. You’re a chicken. When asked, “Why did you cross the road?” You answer,

A) “So I can do a zany dance to impress my friends.”

B) “To run as fast as possible, demonstrating my vast athletic prowess.”

C) “Cross the road? Who needs to cross the road? It’s more fun to sit here and watch the other suckers do it.”

photo: Aunt Owwee on flickr

All right, Goofballs! Now tally up your answers, adding up your A’s, B’s and C’s.

If you have mostly A’s, you’re a Voofball. If you have mostly B’s you’re a Poofball. If you have mostly C’s, you’re a Koofball.

What does this mean? Read on!


In Ayurvedic terms, this type is known as Vata. When out of balance, Voofballs can be excessively airy and un-grounded. Recommendations for balancing the Voofball include meditation, regular routine, lots of rest, and gentle forms of exercise. Suggested diet includes cooked food with moderate spice.

If you’re a Voofball, your healing word is: Chillax.

Your affirmation is: I am a chillaxed, mellow Goofball.

photo: anutkak43 on flickr


In Ayurvedic terms, this type is known as Pitta. When out of balance, Poofballs can be excessively fiery and explosive. Recommendations for balancing the Poofball include time in nature, avoiding direct sunlight, softening of competitiveness, encouraging playfulness and gentleness, and a favoring of cool, soft colors – green, blue and white. Suggested diet includes fresh, live food – especially fruits and vegetables.

If you’re a Poofball, your healing word is: Coooool.

Your affirmation is: I am a calm, cool, collected Goofball.

photo: Lisa Cyr on flickr


In Ayurvedic terms, this type is known as Kapha. When out of balance, Koofballs can be excessively sluggish and slow. Recommendations for balancing the Koofball include daily exercise, spontaneity, creativity, trying new things, and a favoring of bright, strong colors – reds, oranges and yellows. Suggested diet includes minimal fried or fatty foods and lots of fresh veggies.

If you’re a Koofball, your healing word is: Zing.  

Your affirmation is: I am a zingy, zesty Goofball.

photo: StarMama on flickr

For more information about Ayurvedic types, check out the following links:

Ayurvedic Recommendations: Vata, Pitta & Kapha

Dosha Balancing Tips

In the meantime, when someone asks, “What kind of Goofball are you?!”, you’ll have an answer!

Be it Koofball, Voofball or Poofball, the world is big enough for all of us!!

Be zesty! Be cool! Be chill!

But whatever you are, don’t forget to be a Goofball!

photo: :/ on flickr

What kind of Goofball are you – Poofball, Voofball, or Koofball?


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