Photo: Vinay Shivakumar on flickr

Photo: Vinay Shivakumar on flickr

Dear Meli,

For about fifteen years, I’ve been involved in a wonderful spiritual community. I love the people there, and I feel love from them. About five years ago, a new spiritual leader came into the community. At first, we got along really well. She even invited me to her house a few times, and I helped her with some of her classes. But lately that’s changed. She’s become strange and distant with me, and I’m no longer being invited to participate in many of the activities that I previously was part of. I’ve tried to talk to her about it, but she says that nothing’s wrong. I’m losing my community, and I can’t figure out what to do about it. Help!

Crying for Community

Dear Crying,

I wish I could say I’ve never experienced anything like what you’re going through. But I have. And it’s not pleasant, I know.

This sounds very painful and sad. When relationships change, especially when it’s not our idea that they do so, it can be disconcerting and lonely. My heart goes out to you.

However, I can promise you something. You know the saying, “When one door closes, another one opens”? Even if you don’t see a perfection in this soon, I’m pretty certain some day you will.

We evolve every time we go through challenging times. Our heart breaks. Then we find ourselves able to be more deeply compassionate when another person shares with us about going through a similar situation.

We certainly can’t always know what the perfection is while in the midst. But we can practice having faith. We can practice prayer and surrender. We can turn our attention to the Infinite Love that is all around us, in and through everyone. We can use our difficulties as a catalyst to dive more deeply into spiritual practice and conscious connection with a Higher Power.

It has often been exactly those practices, in challenging times, that have unfolded into my greatest joys, blessings and pleasures.

Meanwhile, I recommend Byron Katie’s work, as well as the Radical Forgiveness practices. They can be very helpful in such situations. And music! Always, there is the transformative power of music.

May you find your perfect relationship with this community, this spiritual leader, your self, and your world. And may your difficulties fortify your faith and strengthen your resiliency. As one of my favorite new thought teachers, Dr. Joe Disepnza, says, “Bless the adversity in your life, that it initiates you into greatness.”

May you rise to greater awareness and love, for yourself and others, as you walk through this situation. May you be powerfully blessed by it, indeed!

Blessings and Love to you in all you do!


What is your experience with changes in your relationship to your spiritual community? Share your comments below!

Have a question for Meli? Interested in a private session (in person or Skype)? Contact her at

Coming up! Sunday, February 12th, 2017 at the East Bay Church of Religious Science: Z and I will be providing the music and message for the 9:00 and 11:30 am services. For more info, click HERE!






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