Photo: Shira Gal on flickr

Photo: Shira Gal on flickr

Dear Meli,

I have been in a difficult relationship for a long time. We have both been growing a lot, and for a long time it made sense for me to stay. But now I am realizing that it’s time to go. It’s hurting me too much to stay in this relationship. And yet leaving is breaking my heart. Even though I know it’s time to part ways, it’s still hard for me to accept it. Do you have any tips for letting go?

Stuck in Sorrow 

Dear Stuck,

I wish I could say I know nothing about this kind of situation! But, alas, we all deal with loss and letting go, whether it’s by our own choice or not.

Congratulations to you on two counts: 1) Being true to yourself and following your own inner knowing, and 2) Being conscious enough that you know it’s painful and difficult to take action.

It can be tempting to try and avoid grief. It’s not fun, after all. But I can promise you that if you don’t allow yourself to feel it – allow the grief to move through – it will rear its head in some way at some time. Whether in a future relationship, or in your health, or some other way, it will show up somehow. And it won’t be pretty.

Grief needs to be allowed to do its thing. The great news is that when we consent to it doing its thing, the healing process brings many gifts. It is a blessing!

There is another thing I remind myself in times of loss and grieving. If it is best for one person, it is best for all. I can look back at my life and see evidence of this theory in cases when I was rejected and also in cases where I was the one who walked away. It is true, in my experience, that when something is truly the highest and best for me, it serves everyone involved. Knowing this has helped me when I needed to walk away.

Trusting ourselves when we know it is time to leave any situation is heck-a-important! When we don’t listen and follow that inner guidance, the message will get louder and louder…and more and more uncomfortable (or downright painful). It’s not worth it!

Everyone deserves to be set free from a situation that isn’t working! Set yourself and your soon-to-be-ex free! There is a whole new level of Good waiting for you (both of you!) on the other side of this portion of your stories. Bless both of you by allowing what is inevitable to happen now.

And then allow the gifts that come from surrendering to the Divine’s invitation for you. Open to the whole new level of Good that awaits. And may you fully receive the freedom and ensuing blessings.

Meanwhile, I send you Blessings and Love!

In Joy,


What is your experience with ending relationships? Share your comments below!

Have a question for Meli? Interested in a private session (in person or Skype)? Contact her at

Coming up! Sunday, September 17th at the Center for Spiritual Living Tahoe Truckee: Z and I will be providing the music and message for the 10:15 am service. For more info, click HERE!

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