photo: Alejandro Martinez on flickr

photo: Alejandro Martinez on flickr

Dear Meli,

I am in the health and beauty business. Because of this, or maybe just because of the way I am, I’m always giving people makeovers in my head. It’s actually kinda fun, because I make them look way better. But I’m also aware, because I know that the spiritual view says we’re all perfect just the way we are, that maybe giving people makeovers in my head is not the best practice. What do you think?

Madeover in Miami


Dear Madeover,

On the one hand, I think that anything that brings you joy, and doesn’t harm anyone else, is a good thing. Joyful entertainment is fabulous! And for your particular form of entertainment, you needn’t even spend any money! Very convenient.

On the other hand, there is a big assumption implied by your practice. I imagine I am safe in presuming that when you are making people over, they become closer to your (and society’s) conditioned opinion of what beauty is. While mentally managing this makeover madness, you are missing out on the perfection and beauty of Spirit’s endless variety in creation. If all the flowers were roses, how sad it would be to miss out on daisies and daffodils!

The bottom line, though, is this: If you are making them over as pure entertainment, without criticizing them, it likely feels joyful throughout your being.

But if you look closely and you notice that behind your makeovers is judgment that they don’t look good enough, then you are criticizing them. This doesn’t feel as good when doing it. This is a key! If you are going to change the habit, do so in order that YOU feel better!

So now what? Well, I would certainly NOT recommend that you judge your SELF for judging THEM! 🙂

But you can take on the spiritual practice of noticing when you do this, and then – instead – look for their perfections. Notice what is beautiful about them just as they are.

You may even find that your definition of beauty expands! And this is a beautiful thing, indeed!

Blessings and Love to you in all you do!


What’s your experience with mental makeovers? Share your comments below!

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