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What to Do If You Don’t Believe in Your Own Dreams

photo: Quinn Mattingly on flickr

photo: Quinn Mattingly on flickr

­What do you do when you have the chance of having a dream come true?

Mind you, I said the chance. That means it hasn’t happened yet. That means you are forced to have the marvelous opportunity to wait in the expectation of this dream coming to fulfillment.

Can you do it? Can you imagine the awesomeness?

Or does your mind take little side trips to the Land of the Losers, that place where everything that could go wrong does.

Cuz you’re a loser like that.

loser sign done

A while back, I had the tortuous experience the fun-filled adventure of being presented with an amazing potential experience.

Every winter, Centers for Spiritual Living holds an annual convention in a different city. One year, the convention was held in Orlando, Florida.

A couple months before the convention, my wife Melissa and I got an email from Penelope Williams, the music director.

She said she was considering using our “I Am” rap to open the convention.

How groovy was that? One of our raps would open the convention!! Whoo Hooooooo!!!

Except for one thing.

Penelope didn’t say that one of our raps would open the convention. She said she was considering having one of our raps open the convention.

And that’s when the fun began.

Melissa has been a professional musician all her life. She came out of the womb with microphone in hand, belting out a tune and wowing everyone within earshot.

I, on the other hand, have had a life-long devotion to Hermit status.

photo: DanielBL on flickr

photo: DanielBL on flickr

Sure, I get out every now and then, but the stage has not been a place I’ve spent much time.

Until it was.

Turns out I’m a spoken word artist. Turns out I’m able to combine my love of writing, music, spiritual practice and spastic interpretive dance into one thing:

Metphysical Nerd Rap. 

MNR (as it’s known on the streets) is a joint effort between Melissa and myself. We love it. It’s one of our absolute favorite things to do.

The prospect of doing one of our raps in Orlando, at the national convention with gobs of groovy people to share it with, was downright amazing. And incredible.

 And horrible.

Okay, the idea of doing the rap wasn’t horrible. But the notion of waiting to find out if it was going to happen or not, including the possibility that it might not happen at all, was a tad bit crazy making.

At least for me.

Melissa, the pro that she is, was a bit more nonchalant about it. Not a lot, but definitely more than me. This put me in a precarious position.

photo: z egloff

photo: z egloff

As many of you know, I’m an advocate of the notion that consciousness is creative. I believe that our thoughts and beliefs shape our experiences in life.

When it came to doing our rap in Orlando, I needed to bust out some creative consciousness, and fast!

While I was able to do this to some degree – holding the highest and best outcome for the Orlando experience – I soon became aware that I couldn’t do it alone.

My little mind, left to its own devices, kept trying to veer off to Loser Land. I tried to ride on Melissa’s more-nonchalant-than-me coattails, but it wasn’t enough.

I needed to bust out the big guns:

My friends.

photo: steph martin

photo: steph martin

I asked a small group of friends if they would be willing to do what I couldn’t: Hold the possibility of Melissa and I performing our rap in Orlando.

For those of you who are wondering about the specificity of my request, I refer back to a post I wrote a few months ago.

In the post, I talk about 3 different styles of manifestation: Hands On, Hands Off, and Magic Hands.

With the Hands On approach, you visualize parking places and other specific outcomes. You discover the power of using your mind to shape the experiences of your life.

With the Hands Off approach, you realize that while parking places are fine and dandy, if you step back and leave the outcome to the Divine, it will be better than anything you could come up with.

Finally, there’s the Magic Hands approach. This is where you devote yourself so fully to the Divine that sometimes you visualize specific outcomes and sometimes you don’t. It just depends on how you’re guided in a specific situation.

photo: IrfaanPhotography on flickr

photo: IrfaanPhotography on flickr

The Orlando Opportunity, as it turned out, was in the Magic Hands category. Melissa and I could totally see ourselves on stage in Orlando, doing the rap. It felt totally right to imagine that outcome.

Except that, in my case, I needed help.

I needed my friends to help me believe in my own dreams.

Once I’d asked my friends to imagine Melissa and me doing the rap in Orlando – and they all enthusiastically said Yes – I immediately felt better. Just like that, I was able to let go of my fretting and fussing and trust that all was well.

Any time I caught my mind veering back into Loser Land, I remembered that it was impossible for me to end up there. My friends had my back.

It was an incredible feeling.

After weeks of waiting, Melissa and I finally got the email that, yes indeed, we would be rapping on the main stage in Orlando.

I was thrilled. It was a dream come true!

But even more thrilling than the opportunity to perform the rap was how incredibly supported I’d felt in the process of getting there.

photo: Rob Watson on flickr

photo: Rob Watson on flickr

Yes, the Divine is amazing. Yes, there is a power and presence that’s always available for guidance and support.

But sometimes it’s harder to feel It than other times.

In those times, it’s great to have friends. And books. And videos. There are all kinds of ways to avail ourselves of the help of the Divine.

If one way doesn’t work, we can try another.

And if we can’t do it all by ourselves, we can open up to the reality that we’re never all by ourselves.

Thanks to my friends, and me, and Melissa, and the Divine – which is all of those things – Melissa and I did our rap in Orlando. And, boy howdy, did we have fun! We got to play with an amazing band, including Penelope Williams, Ty Andrews, Nathen Aswell, James Cardarelli, Carol Chaikin, Sauda Fuller, Marianne Lewis, and Erin McGaughan.

Speaking of Divine videos, click here to check out a video taken by my friend Evan Dow-Williamson.

How do you open up to Divine help? Share your comments below!

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16 Responses to What to Do If You Don’t Believe in Your Own Dreams

  1. Wayne Haught March 11, 2014 at 8:53 am #

    Respect to the MNR!

    • Z Egloff March 11, 2014 at 10:56 am #

      TY, WH!!! :)

  2. Sara Nichols March 11, 2014 at 9:23 am #

    Do you have video of it, Z? I’d love to see the MNR on the mainstage. I’m so proud of you!

  3. m March 11, 2014 at 9:36 am #

    You are Incredible–Powerful—a Miracle…DIVINE !
    BUt I supose that you knew that already….
    How lucky we are….You forgot the part about being a delight.

    • Z Egloff March 11, 2014 at 11:14 am #

      Hi M!

      Okay, I’ll have to add the word “delight” into another rap. It’s a great word. Another one that I want to bring back is “marvelous.” Another classic. Thank you for your delightful comment! 😉


  4. Janet March 11, 2014 at 9:52 am #

    What a magical post–thanks, Z! I love this reminder that help comes in a variety of forms. Being of the hermit persuasion myself, I’m often challenged when it comes to seeing ME doing something big and scary. Love the raps, too!

    • Z Egloff March 11, 2014 at 11:15 am #

      Hi Janet,

      Hello fellow Hermit! Yes, it is strange to venture outside of the bounds of our caves, isn’t it? But fun too, at times. Love to you!


  5. Rev. Lorna March 11, 2014 at 10:44 am #

    You were absolutely wonderful. I loved getting the chance to sit next to you at the banquet and talk to you a bit. When are you doing a MNR CD?

    • Z Egloff March 11, 2014 at 11:17 am #

      Hi Rev Lorna,

      It was SO great to get to meet you and talk at the banquet. It was a God meeting if ever there was one.

      Melissa and I are in the process of working on the rap CD now. We have a two day appointment with the guy who mixes the CD in mid June, so we have to be done by then. It should be available to the public by July-ish. I’ll definitely mention it on the blog! :)


  6. Karen March 11, 2014 at 9:13 pm #

    Terrific MNR, Z!!!

    I must share with our Abraham Fun group, as we know a thing or two about rap around there, and this will be appreciated.

    Yes, it’s wonderful to get support for our dreams from our communities — online or real life!

    • Z Egloff March 13, 2014 at 12:25 pm #

      Hi Karen!

      The MNR, as you know, happened in your great and glorious state of Florida. We had fun there!

      Thank you for sharing this with your merry band of Abe peeps. And thank you for being part of my online family!


  7. Sauda March 11, 2014 at 10:04 pm #

    You never cease to amaze me Z! Yes support and being in dialogue vs the dangerous neighborhood of monologue is key! Thank you for this! It was a pleasure to meet you in Orlando and be a part of your shine!

    • Z Egloff March 13, 2014 at 12:30 pm #

      Hi Sauda,

      SO great to see you here! And SO fun to share the stage with you in Orlando and to get to hear you sing! It was wonderful to dialogue with you there as well. 😀


  8. Jill Shinn March 13, 2014 at 11:10 pm #

    Congrats, Z. And thanks for laying out the three kinds of affirmations: hand on, hands off, and magic hands. I love that!

    • Z Egloff March 19, 2014 at 10:50 am #

      Hi Jill!

      Thank you. It’s all about knowing where to put your hands! :)


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