photo: Aaron Brinker on flickr

photo: Aaron Brinker on flickr

Dear Meli,

I’m in love! And it’s not what you think!

After years of thinking that God and spiritual stuff was for wimps, I’ve now realized that Spirit is awesome! I went to a spiritual retreat because a friend of mine convinced me to go. I thought it would totally suck, but it didn’t. I had this major breakthrough and now I understand what people have been making such a big deal about.

There’s only one problem, and that’s other people. I know, it sounds harsh, but since my breakthrough, I have a really, really, really hard time being around anyone who doesn’t “get it.” You know what I mean? It’s especially difficult with people who are negative and complain all the time and don’t get how awesome everything actually is.


Alone in Akron


Dear Alone,

Opening to the amazing ever-present Divine is a life-changing thing! Probably the greatest gift you will ever give yourself! So Yay you!

And, I commiserate with you about those people. Of course, there are no other people, technically, given that we are all one big mush of Love in Spirit. But that’s for another time.

For today, I’ll speak directly to the angst and anguish. I, too, have totally felt this way. I completely understand!

Here are three things I’d suggest trying:

1) I always invite myself (and my clients) to look within for what aspect of myself the other person may be expressing…to see if I can hold that part of myself in love. (This may be a part of me that I allow others to see, or it may be a part that I reject and don’t allow to be seen, even by myself.) When I’m successful with this, I find it much easier to be patient with them.

2) If that’s not working, you can imagine them happy. Even in the midst of their complaining, you can, in your mind’s eye, picture them joyous and happy!

3) In the Toltec teaching, we say that we are all dreaming. We dream asleep and we dream awake. What we believe helps to shape our awake dream of life. Our beliefs are the screen through which we see our “reality.” So as someone else is whining about life, remind yourself that they are simply telling you about a bad dream.

I usually find that one of these will do the trick, allowing me to make it through the encounter feeling more spiritually intact.

But really? That said:

Try to spend less time with them! Seriously. Find friends with whom you feel great! Spend more time with them, and less with these other folks, whenever you can. As you do, you will find it easier to maintain your joyous state.

Because let’s face it, it’s hard to sit with someone who is whining and complaining and maintain a state of celebration!

Blessings and Love in All You Do,


How do you handle negative people? Share your comments below!

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