Ouch, Pam! So sad and that situation sounds very challenging in terms of coming to a place of feeling closure. And, absolutely, yes! Friends – sometimes such a dilemma! I am also one who tries (first) to talk things through to the other side with friends. I have found that not everyone is capable of such conversations. Of taking responsibility and staying present through hurt feelings and continuing to be present, all the way through. I know I’ve probably hurt people unknowingly too. I guess all we can do is do our best, and then also do our best to take sweet care of our tender little hearts. The reward is that there are people who are fully-aligned matches for friendship! And then? Joy and fun and loving connection. The BEST! Thank you for writing, dear heart. May closure find you and bless your being.

Hi Bonnie,
Great to hear from you. I’m so sorry to hear that about your friend. Definitely an Ouch!! It sounds like you did what you needed to do – in every way. Sending love to your heart!!
BIG love and hugs,
Meli

Hi Meli. I loved this! It really hit home. I recently lost a friendship. We had a disagreement and I brought it up several times to try to “fix” the misunderstanding. It seems the person would rather keep the grudge. In any event, it was a great big ouch but I’ve come to understand that it was time to move on. Always appreciate your wisdom. Hugs,

Ouch, Linda! That sounds like a definite ouch! I’m so sorry for your experience of this, and any disappointment it brought.

I agree that we don’t always know or understand both sides of our relationships. And that we can’t REALLY ever fully know someone…I mean, we can deeply know someone but…

I say this because i just found out, days ago, that an old “friend” (musical acquaintance/musician) who I really liked and played with for years and grew to love and respect as a person…just got sent to prison for something that I find atrocious. So there’s that.

Sorry…I digress. But it was just another (albeit more shocking) example of how little we know people we think we understand.

I guess this shouldn’t be surprising given that I’m still getting to know and understand mySELF after all these years! And I didn’t know I was gay until I was 50 years old. And if thats how little we know our sweet lil selves, another person thrown into the mix, and the dynamics between the two? It’s a LOT!

I have found, through the years, that I’ve gotten more discerning about friendships. And my friendships have gotten better and better. I hope you can say the same.

Love and Blessings to you and your sweet heart.

Hi Deborah,
I agree that this could be a good thing, in some situations. Depends on the person you would be talking to, and how you feel going in…and like that. (In my opinion, of course.)

The person who wrote in had specifically said they didn’t feel comfortable with talking with the person. And I DO feel that following our inner knowing/intuitive self in this (and everything) is always best. (Again, my opinion)

I do also agree with how you said you’d approach it. Sometimes. So thanks for writing!

Hi Kathy,
Wow, that sounds like a major Ouch! I’m so sorry about that. But I’m also glad you did what you needed to take care of yourself!
BIG Love,
Melissa

Can’t go wrong with open and slow! 🙂
BIG Love,
Melissa