Comments on: How Do I Handle My Constantly Complaining Friend?

By: Z Egloff

Z Egloff — Sat, 21 Jan 2023 23:54:45 +0000

Hi Wynn,
This is so great! I love this technique. It allows room for the complaining, but frames it in prayer and positivity. Brilliant. Thanks for sharing this!
BIG Love,
Melissa

By: Wynn Allen

Wynn Allen — Sat, 21 Jan 2023 09:31:59 +0000

I have a dear friend for 25 years. We agree to have a whiny sessions. When we do, we call, state I have to whiny, is it okay, and then complain. After we thank each other, do a meditation and talk of only happy things. We leave on a happy note. Most of the time we have is fun and good. But we always listen to each other, even if one of us complains.

By: Melissa Phillippe

Melissa Phillippe — Thu, 19 Jan 2023 01:03:50 +0000

In reply to Robin Stuart, MFT.

Hi Robin,
Thank you so much. It’s wonderful to hear all this. Sending you love as you sit in the intention for mutual loving kindness. That’s so beautiful.
BIG Love,
Melissa

By: Robin Stuart, MFT

Robin Stuart, MFT — Wed, 18 Jan 2023 16:59:45 +0000

Letting go of someone we care about is so hard because we experience it as loss, instead of as a gift…to both of you! I know when I engage with someone who REPEATEDLY brings me down, and doesn’t appear to be moving away from their stickiness, I feel resentful. That becomes my character issue and doesn’t aligne with the virtues to which I aspire. So, letting them go makes room in time and space for both of us to have our needs better met with others, and also might invite reflection and positive change. All this said, it is hard to do! I’m in relationship right now where this question for friendship longevity is up for me! When I sit in the intention of MUTUAL loving kindness, I know the answer will come! Thank you for your topic and deep wisdom! 🙏🏻

By: Melissa Phillippe

Melissa Phillippe — Wed, 18 Jan 2023 02:37:05 +0000

In reply to Les Craig.

Hi Les,
This is a cool way to look at it. I appreciate this perspective very much!
BIG Love,
Melissa

By: Melissa Phillippe

Melissa Phillippe — Wed, 18 Jan 2023 02:35:46 +0000

In reply to Susanne.

Hi Susanne,
This is great. Thank you for sharing this idea. And I’m so glad to hear that you’ve had some success with it. Yay! 🙂
BIG Love,
Melissa

By: Les Craig

Les Craig — Tue, 17 Jan 2023 23:14:22 +0000

Sometimes there is a central question under the complaints, and a couple of open-ended questions on my part can get the person to ask it. But if that doesn’t work, or if the question comes out rhetorical and whiny and repeats over and over, it may be time for me to recognize that my presence Isn’t doing that person any good.

By: Susanne

Susanne — Tue, 17 Jan 2023 22:47:42 +0000

One thing I’ve tried wtih some success is to make a “no complaints” resolution with them, starting from the point that I am trying to do better in that arena, and asking them to join with me. If they don’t like it, then there is some clarity as to why you are backing away; if they join with you woohoo! You’ve both just benefitted, because I’m pretty sure all of us complain more than we realize lol