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Dear Meli
What’s the Relationship Between Childhood Abuse and Spiritual Practice?
Dear Meli, In spiritual circles, they're always saying that our happiness is up to us. But what if you've had really bad stuff happen to you? As a child, I was sexually abused. It's not something I talk about a lot, but it has definitely had a big impact on my life....
How Do You Handle a Road Raging Spouse?
Dear Meli, I'm a great driver. I've been driving thirty years and I've never even had a speeding ticket. My husband – that's another story. He likes to drive fast. He also tends to get angry at other drivers who don't go as fast as he does. Luckily, I have my own car...
How Do You Handle a Complaining Friend?
Dear Meli, I have a friend. She's one of my oldest and dearest friends. We went to grade school together. She's always had my back, and in many ways she's one of my biggest supporters. But – and this is a big but – she's a big complainer. Like, half of what she says...
Do I Have to Be Spiritual Because My Partner Is?
Dear Meli, I'm not spiritual. Really, I'm not kidding. My partner of ten years, on the other hand, is super spiritual. When we got together, we were both atheists, but since then she's totally gone on a spiritual kick. First it was yoga. Then meditation. And now she's...
Are You Depressed or Detached?
Dear Meli, For a long time, I was totally enamored with spiritual life. Amazing things would happen in my life and I would be totally blown away. But now, I'm a lot more blasé about it all. Don't get me wrong, my life is still great. But somehow, I don't care. Things...
How Do You Get Your Power Back?
Dear Meli, I have a friend that I give my power away to all the time. I don't know what it is about her, but even when I give myself a pep talk before I see her, I always end up just giving up and going along with whatever she says is right. I love a lot of things...
Should You Share Your Vision with Others?
Dear Meli, I have a dream. It's a big dream. I haven't told anyone about it because I don't want to have anyone discourage me. What do you think about this? Do you think it's okay to keep it to myself, or should I be sharing it with others who can help or encourage...
How Do You Make Peace with Aging?
Dear Meli, I'm embarrassed to admit this, because I know that acceptance is the key to true spirituality, but I really don't like getting older. It sucks. My body doesn't work as well as it used to. People treat me differently. My hair is all grey now, and I'm aware...
How Do You Set Boundaries with Your Boss?
Dear Meli, I love my job. At least, I used to. I recently got a new boss, and things have gotten tricky. She shares a lot of personal information with me. Way more than I want to hear. But she seems to feel safe with me, and views me as a confidante. I'm not gonna...
When Is It Okay to Be Selfish?
Dear Meli, Is it okay to be selfish? I always think of it as a bad thing, but recently someone pointed out to me that the people accusing you of being selfish are often wanting you to follow their agenda. How can I learn to be selfish without being obnoxious or overly...
How Do You Handle Betrayal?
Dear Meli, Jan and I have been best friends for about ten years. I met her through my job, and we immediately hit it off. We have been through a lot of stuff together, and I always thought she had my back. Recently, I found out that she has been saying bad stuff about...
11 Ways to Lift a Bad Mood
Dear Meli, What do you do when you feel down? Most of the time I feel pretty good about things, but sometimes, so seemingly no reason, everything looks bleak. What do you do when the glass suddenly looks less than half full – and cracked?! Suddenly Sulky Dear Sulky,...