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Life in Z-D
Why I Thought I Was Going to Die When I Turned 23. And Why I Was Right. (Part 1)
Have you ever had the feeling something big was going to happen? And then it did? And somehow, knowing it was coming was part of its power? In my case, it was the number 23. I'm not the only one to have a "thing" with this number. Melissa, my sweetheart, had it show...
Speaking of Miracles, Did I Tell You What Happened with My Television Remote?
Everyone says there are Seven Wonders of the World, but I know there are really Eight. The Eighth being my television remote. Sure, it looks like a regular old remote, made of plastic and metal and little rubber buttons, but this remote is special. This remote has...
7 Reasons Why Being a Goofball is the Fastest Route to Enlightenment
Every day, people stop me on the street and say, "Z, what can being a goofball do for me?" They also ask me, "Do black holes snore?" And "If x + y equals 55, what's z – 15?" But those are questions for another day. Today we're talking about goofballs. And given that...
Back Pain: How I Kicked It to the Curb and Walked Away Whistling
I'm in love with a man named John. You might wonder what this has to do with my scuffle with back pain, but I assure you, they're totally related. You might also wonder what Melissa, my sweetheart, thinks about my manly love interest, but check this out: She's in love...
What to Do When Fear Has You in a Choke Hold and You’re About to Say “Uncle”
I hate fear. I know, we spiritual types are supposed to embrace all aspects of our experience, even the hard stuff. But fear still pisses me off. Don't get me wrong. I've had great success with flipping fear on its belly and finding the excitement underneath. But I've...
How Elves Can Heal Your Life
Step aside Carl Jung. Step aside Ken Wilbur. There's a new psycho-spiritual theorist in town and her name is . . . . Dr. Z! It doesn't matter that I'm not actually a doctor. That didn't stop me from coming up with a new theory that totally explains the entire scope of...
How to Win the Spiritual Olympics
"I'm more spiritual than you are." Has there ever been a more absurd statement in the history of the Universe? Sure, there are stranger things to say. Like, "My donkey is on backwards." Or "What's the square root of cake?" But surely, "I'm more spiritual than you are"...
Why Jury Duty Blew My Mind
I have to confess: I didn't want to go. Who wants to jump in their car at 7 a.m. and trot over to the Hall of Justice to report for jury duty? Certainly not me. Except I have another confession to make. Part of me did want to go. I believe everything happens for a...
The Worst Thing that Ever Happened to Me on Stage
Have you ever made a mistake? How about a mistake in front of other people? How about a mistake in front of an audience? I don't know about you, but making a mistake in front of an entire collection of people who have their eyes focused on me is not on the top of my...
Here’s a Fun, New Way to Get Enlightened
If you want to have a good time – and I mean a really good time – go to an airport security line. These people know how to party. I mean, they're patting down complete strangers. And they have a legal right to do so! They're wearing snappy uniforms and ordering...
What a John Deere Tractor Taught Me About God
Have you ever started a project that was beyond the scope of your expertise? A new venture that totally surpassed what you were capable of doing? An endeavor that knocked all your previous endeavors out of the ring and off the planet? If so, I have a few things I'd...
My Mid-Life Procrastination Attack
I never used to procrastinate. Never. Okay, maybe sometimes. Like during tax season. But that was about it. I used to take pity on the poor schmucks who would put things off. I felt sorry for them. I felt empathy for their plight. It must be hard, I thought, to have...