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Life in Z-D
Why Jury Duty Blew My Mind
I have to confess: I didn't want to go. Who wants to jump in their car at 7 a.m. and trot over to the Hall of Justice to report for jury duty? Certainly not me. Except I have another confession to make. Part of me did want to go. I believe everything happens for a...
The Worst Thing that Ever Happened to Me on Stage
Have you ever made a mistake? How about a mistake in front of other people? How about a mistake in front of an audience? I don't know about you, but making a mistake in front of an entire collection of people who have their eyes focused on me is not on the top of my...
Here’s a Fun, New Way to Get Enlightened
If you want to have a good time – and I mean a really good time – go to an airport security line. These people know how to party. I mean, they're patting down complete strangers. And they have a legal right to do so! They're wearing snappy uniforms and ordering...
What a John Deere Tractor Taught Me About God
Have you ever started a project that was beyond the scope of your expertise? A new venture that totally surpassed what you were capable of doing? An endeavor that knocked all your previous endeavors out of the ring and off the planet? If so, I have a few things I'd...
My Mid-Life Procrastination Attack
I never used to procrastinate. Never. Okay, maybe sometimes. Like during tax season. But that was about it. I used to take pity on the poor schmucks who would put things off. I felt sorry for them. I felt empathy for their plight. It must be hard, I thought, to have...
What I Learned from Trudy, the Talking Flower
The tree outside our bedroom window has been busy lately. Do you want to see what it's been up to? Check it out: Talk about a show off. I mean, really. This tree is not holding back. It got me thinking. Nature is often used an example of unabashed abundance. Nature...
The Hardest Thing I’ve Ever Done
No, I’m not talking about jumping out of a plane (no way) or wrestling porcupines (ouch) or running with the bulls in Pamplona (can you say shin splints?) I’m talking about something else altogether. Something much more daring. Picture this: I am sitting on a chair. I...
How I Broke out of Piano Prison
I can hear you now. What on earth is piano prison?! Is it a place for people who steal baby grands from cocktail lounges? A penitentiary shaped like a giant piano? A room full of people playing Feelings and Tiny Bubbles? Oh no, my friends. It's worse. Much worse. Let...
My Short, Sad Life as a Rodeo Clown
If I told you I used to work as a rodeo clown, would you believe me? If you said Yes, you're in the majority. Most of the people to whom I've told this crazy story have believed me. Notice the past tense. Told. My days as a fake former-rodeo-clown are over. I used to...
What I Learned from My Cat’s Crack Addiction
Don’t do drugs. Everyone knows that, right? But it’s easier said than done. Ask my cat Lucy. Lucy is a good cat. Oh sure, she has a slight tendency to bite things – people, paper, wooden railings. You should have seen it before I re-painted it. Lucy’s oral fixation...
What I Do When I Can’t Pray
Have you ever heard the expression "The darkest hour is just before dawn?" How about "A prolonged period of cranky, disgruntled, rabidly-toxic cynism precedes grace." Have you heard that one? Probably not. It's true, though. Take it from me. The recently...
Healing Shame, One Traffic Ticket at a Time
What’s more fun than getting pulled over by a cop? Nothing, really. And boy howdy, did I have fun the other day! But I’m getting ahead of myself. The good times started way before my glorious interaction with the law. The fun began after my walk at Spring Lake the...