There are a lot more than two traits of spiritually mature people.
But.
I love lists! I love hearing about qualities of certain types of people and seeing if I fit/don’t fit with them.
12 Traits of a Narcissist. I don’t want any of those!
15 Traits of a Perfect Person Who Also Knows That Perfection Includes Accepting Imperfection. I want all of those!
Like that.
At some point along my spiritual journey, I heard about the two Traits. As I said, there are a lot more than two. But these two go verrrrrrry nicely together. And they stuck in my mind.
So here we go!
Trait One: Spiritually mature people have good boundaries.
Trait Two: Spiritually mature people accept that everyone, including themselves, is doing their best.
Sounds good, right? Those are both admirable qualities.
But they get even better when you put them together.
Take the example of someone who finds themselves in an abusive relationship. Let’s say they’ve addressed the abuse. (Because they have good boundaries.) They’ve gone to therapy. (Because doing their best means working on their issues.) But the abuse continues. If they have the two traits, this is what they’re going to do next.
First, they’re going to accept that their partner is doing the best they can.
They’re not going to say, Maybe someday they’ll change. If I just love them enough, they’ll become the person I want them to be.
Nope! They’re going to accept that their partner is doing their best. Right now.
Next, they’re going to use their awesome boundaries to take them right out of that abusive relationship.
Acceptance and Boundaries! What a combo!
(Better, I dare say, than peanut butter and jelly! And I’m a big fan of PB&J.)
When I first stumbled upon the spiritual path, I had a very specific image in my mind about the traits of a spiritual person. This person was loving and kind to everyone.
In the abuse situation above, I would have imagined that, with the power of the love of the oh-so-spiritual person, their partner would melt into a puddle of no-longer-abusive.
Boundaries were nowhere in sight!
But now I know that being loving and kind to everyone includes being loving and kind to myself. And staying in abusive relationship is not kind loving and kind to me.
I also know that some people are better loved from afar.
And that it’s not loving and kind to someone to stay in a dynamic that perpetuates their abusive behavior.
That’s the Boundaries part.
The Acceptance part is also ninja-level.
Accepting that everyone is doing the best they can?
Not feeling like it’s up to you to control them? Or change them? Or subtly-or-not-so-subtly judge them?
Yeah.
When you pair Acceptance with Boundaries, you have an extremely potent combination. One that allows you to be optimally kind. And loving. And spiritual. (Whatever the heck that means, because we’re all spiritual. But you’re super spiritual, so you know what I mean!)
Although spiritual folks have a lot of traits in common, focusing on just these two could take a lifetime of work.
I’m up for it.
How about you? How are you with boundaries? And acceptance? And the delicious combo of the two? Share your comments below!
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