The Upside of Name Calling
When you think about name calling, you probably think about taunts, jeers, and other generally-not-nice verbal utterances. But lately, I’ve been using name calling in another way. An uplifting way. It goes like this. I’m in the checkout line at the grocery store. The...
The Crucial Difference Between Guilt and Shame
You probably think you already know the crucial difference between guilt and shame. And you do know one difference. A major difference. Guilt says, “I made a mistake.” Shame says, “I am a mistake.” Shame also says, “I am bad and wrong and don’t deserve to live.” Yeah....
How to Solve a Perpetual Couple’s Fight
Back when I was in psychology grad school, we were taught that when a couple is having the same fight again and again – over how to load the dishwasher properly, for example – the fight was merely a decoy. A cover for something deeper. As a therapist, it was our job...
My Teenage Lie and the Truth I Denied
No, I’m not going to talk about lying to myself about my sexuality. Or my gender expression. I’ve covered those before. This lie has to do with something much Bigger. Though, at the time, I thought I was the biggest thing around. My family rarely went to church, so it...