Dear Meli,
I had a hard childhood. There was a lot of abuse and trauma. Sometimes I hear spiritual folks say that, with spiritual practice, you can heal anything. But my trauma doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. I’ve gotten less anxious over time, but there’s still a lot of stuff that’s hard for me, due to my past. Do you have any thoughts or ideas about this?
Still Suffering
Dear Suffering,
I am so sorry to hear about the trauma of your childhood!
I do believe that everything is ultimately “transformable” through spiritual practice. But I also think that, for some things, it can be most effective to use additional support.
There are so many wonderful healing modalities in the world these days! I think that may be especially true regarding healing trauma! There seems to be new approaches, and new discoveries, annually. Some of these are spiritually based, but many are somatic and/or psychologically based. I know of people who have utilized some of each. It seems to me that most people respond to one modality more than others. But it also seems to me that, for more difficult backgrounds or experiences, approaching the memories from various angles works well.
That said, I think that any modality will be supported by additional spiritual practice. Of course, I think all of life and everything in it is supported by additional spiritual practice. So I am clearly biased.
The more deeply I have traveled into my own spiritual practices, the more present I am able to be. Any endeavor, including any healing modality, is going to be more fully beneficial if I am more full available – more present – for it.
I am not an expert in the healing of trauma specifically. But I have experienced traumas, and the healing and transformation of them. I have watched levels of pain peel away from past experiences. And I have experienced different traumas reacting differently to different modalities.
I have also watched myself become more adept at receiving healing, and at surrendering to the Divine to allow the healing of my psyche. This continues to deepen as I do both spiritual practices and additional healing modalities. But my spiritual practices, in particular, allow me to have a deeper relationship with Spirit. This enhances my feelings of trust. As I trust more fully, I am more easily able to surrender. As I am more able to surrender, I can turn over memories and release them more successfully.
In the meantime, I think it’s important to take note of and celebrate the healing that has already taken place for you!
Often a difficult childhood translates into having learned to be hard on ourselves. Perfectionism on the spiritual path is never helpful! I find that the more gentle and kind I am with myself, the better life is. So, while you continue to deepen your healing and relieve your anxiety, be gentle with yourself for still having things to heal!
Celebrate every transformation. The smallest shifts blossom into radical transformation. And every breath taken with loving awareness, whether during your spiritual practice or in the office of a specialist, brings greater freedom. And every new degree of freedom is definitely worth celebrating!
May you be blessed along the way. And may you remember your perfection, in the midst.
Blessings and Love to you in all you do!
In Joy,
Meli
What is your experience with healing childhood trauma? Share your comments below!
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I understand what you are going through with childhood trauma. It took me many years to get over it, but I finally realized what my hold up was. The first thing I realized I needed to forgive the persons that were the people who were the source of the trauma. I couldn’t do that for years. Then a person I really loved and respected said repeatedly “If we knew better we would do better”. I finally realized that was the truth of the people who caused my trauma. I had to think about their own past and how they had been treated. They were hurt by it and because they did not know better they did the same to me. Think about this and see if you see why it happened. Now you know better and you can do better. I wish I had known this when I was younger.
Hi Nancy,
This is brilliant! I imagine and hope it’s helpful to “Still Suffering” and any others who read it.
Thank you so much for the wonderful input.
Hope you’re well – still in Reno? <3 Blessings, Meli (with computer issues so I'm replying this way)
I’m still working on it myself, but I know that forgiveness work is key. Forgiveness of them and forgiveness of myself.
Among other things, I’m finding the Grief Recovery Handbook useful in addressing incomplete and unresolved relationships and situations in my life. Plus body work and energy work and mindfulness meditation.
Hi Joanna!
This is me – Melissa. I can’t get into our system right now so I’m replying this way…new website with just little baby kinks to go. 😉
THANK YOU for ALL of those great ideas! Very helpful. In a way it’s hard to talk about any aspect of healing and transformation-of-consciousness-work without talking about every aspect…right? All loving of ourselves translates to greater happiness, and more love available for others.
Thanks again for all the great input.