Photo: Caroline on flickr

Dear Meli,

I have a question about money. And no, it’s not that I don’t have enough. It’s the opposite. I have quite a lot. I am independently wealthy. The problem is that this is not something I can tell everyone. Some people get very strange when they find out I have plenty of money. Sometimes it feels lonely and isolating. I expect that most people would say that this is a great problem to have, but it can be really challenging. Especially when it comes to knowing whom I can trust. I am wondering if you have any thoughts or suggestions on this, from a spiritual perspective.

Prosperous and Perplexed

Dear Prosperous,

While I can sympathize with those who would say this is a great problem to have, that does not minimize the sadness of feeling isolated and alone…NEVER a good feeling, regardless of the reason!

I think your challenge is one many think they’d like to have. So many people live in a sense of lack around money. More and more, in our culture, people seem to live in a feeling of lack even when they actually have plenty.

But that is another topic. Or is it?

I imagine that what you’re feeling is lack. Not lack around money. But a lack of connection, a feeling of safety and love. I imagine that most people, if they had to choose, would choose connection over financial abundance without connection. But the great news for you is that you may very well be able to have both.

If I were in your proverbial shoes, I would practice aligning my consciousness with the Truth of Universal Abundance. Sounds heady, right? What I mean is that I would bombard my consciousness with Truths about the Infinite Love that permeates all of life. Because this Love is all that is, it must be that there is enough for you to have plenty of it in your personal experience. In your life! Regardless of your financial status.

I would do this by reading on the topic, by meditating, and through prayer. Asking the divine to fill you with the sense of connection and safety could be one place to start. And then, of course, I would imagine (every day for at least 10 minutes a day) having plenty of people in your life whom you trust, people who know all about you and with whom you feel deep connection and safety being your full authentic self.

I would also capitalize on the experience of financial abundance you have in your life, using the emotional experience of plenty as a reference point for the experience of sufficiency in deep friendships. You can take the feeling you experience around having plenty of money and memorize it, and then move your attention to imagining having plenty of friends you trust, and deep connections in relationships.

Then overlay that same feeling of peace and contentment (or however you would describe your experience around money) onto that aspect of life. These are all ways to open your being up to the universal potentiality of plenty of loving connections with others.

There is another way to work this. That is, getting yourself to feeling fine about knowing that sometimes you’ll not tell people. And knowing that you can be very connected even if they don’t know about this aspect of your life. There will likely be times when you feel clear, from a deep inner knowing, that the person you are with will be fine with your wealth. They will not react or take it personally or turn it into being about them.

But you can decide in the moment, on a person-by-person basis, given your inner guidance, whom you’ll tell. You’ll also learn to connect deeply while omitting this information.

I have a friend who is a doctor. She once asked me to avoid telling people her occupation when introducing her. She found that when people knew her profession, they immediately changed. Some people turned the conversation to their ailments – an opportunity for a free medical consultation (always great at parties…LOL). Others assumed my friend was a stereotype, and stopped being present with her at all. I watched it happen. I admit that I, at times, found this entertaining. But my friend found it alienating.

This is the challenge. But this is always a challenge when getting to know people. And that’s true for anyone.

We are all vulnerable when we’re getting to know people, sometimes fearing being rejected. We all have triggers that take us away from the present moment, assumptions that lead us to some fantasy about the person with whom we’re in conversation. And we all have aspects of ourselves or things we’ve done, or details about our lives, that would make some others vacate the moment.

I think it’s always advisable to be aware of this. And being your full self does not have to mean telling people all about you. It can mean knowing that you want to omit some information, in the interest of connecting.

Hoping this brings some peace, and that your friendships and connections deepen through your years. Wishing you the great wealth in every facet of life!

Blessings and Love to you in all you do!

In Joy,

Meli

What is your experience with feelings of lack? Share your comments below!

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