How do you feel about transitions?
Do you love the excitement of change? Do you relish the moving and morphing of any and/or every aspect of your life?
Or do you view transitions with all the fear and trepidation of small child, being approached by a cackling stranger covered in slime, offering what is clearly a poisoned piece of candy?
Our Guru kitty Max in the latter category.
Melissa and I have learned that anytime anything is going to change in his life, we need to treat him as tenderly and as transparently as possible.
An early demonstration of this phenomenon came in the middle of the night.
The Guru sleeps on the bed with us at night. I am a side sleeper, and usually he sleeps curled up behind my legs.
This makes my inner child very happy.
When I was small, my family had a kitty named Mittens. One of my most fervent wishes at that point in my life was for Mittens to sleep on my bed with me at night.
Did Mittens do this?
No, Mittens did not.
Mittens would humor me, a little. I would bring him to my bed with me. I would turn out the light. Mittens would stay on my bed for five glorious minutes. And then he would leave, disappearing for the rest of the night.
This made me so sad.
So now? To have a kitty who curls up behind my legs? All night? It’s the best!
Except when it’s not.
Although I am a side sleeper, I’m not a sleep-on-just-one-side sleeper. I am an equal opportunity side sleeper. There’s the left side, and there’s the right side. Both are to be equally respected and indulged.
When the Guru first started sleeping with us, I would switch sides like I always did – by simply turning my body from one side to the other.
In the beginning, the Guru would react to this transition like someone had just shoved a puppy in his face. He leapt, he scurried, he vacated the premises just like Mittens had done in my childhood. Leaving my inner child verrrry sad.
After a short period of time, I realized that this middle-of-the-night bed repositioning was just like every other transition in his life. The Guru needed to be informed. He needed the transition to be communicated to him as tenderly and transparently as possible.
So what did I do?
When it came time for me to switch sides, before I did anything else, I reached down to the Guru and pet him. I scratched under his chin. I gave him a little love and reassurance.
Then and only then did I move my body from one side to the other.
It worked like a charm, and I’ve been doing it ever since.
Also, and this is a sign of my cat-dependence (a spin-off on the word co-dependence used by Melissa and me to describe our utter devotion to our Guru), when I switch sides, I do so by moving my legs up and around the Guru.
In other words, the Guru stays in place. The only transition he needs to endure is my legs shifting from one side of him to other.
Again, a cat-dependent move for sure.
But it keeps the Guru on the bed! Tucked behind my legs! Which is pretty much the best thing ever!
My experience with the Guru and transitions has been helpful with the changes in my own life as well.
I too have a tendency to view transitions as a slime-covered stranger offering me seriously-suss candy.
Thanks to the Guru, I am reminded that I need to treat myself with tenderness and transparency.
A friend of mine passed away recently. It’s been hard. I feel sad. I feel angry. I feel depressed. All the feels.
When I’m giving myself a hard time for having a hard time with my friend’s passing, I remember the Guru. I remember to be tender with myself. I remember to soothe my inner child by stroking their hair. I remember to give them love and reassurance.
I let them know that life is full of transitions. And that transitions can be upsetting. And that we can help each other through.
I let them know that even though they had a kitty named Mittens who didn’t stay with them during their transition to sleep every night, they’re not alone anymore.
They have me. And the Guru. And Spirit.
A holy trinity, if ever there was one!
How do you deal with transitions? Share your comments below!
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