Dear Meli,

I am a deep believer that everything in life is perfect and given to us by Spirit, even the hard stuff. One of the things I’ve struggled with for a long time is my body. I am over 60 years old, and have never felt totally at home in my female body. I see people much younger than me making changes to their bodies with surgery and hormones. If I was younger, I might join them. But I’m thinking maybe I’m too old for that. And I also think that Spirit gave me this body for a reason, so changing it feels a little like going against Spirit. I know that you are married to someone who defines as gender-rich. Do you have any thoughts on this?

Bothered by Body

Dear Bothered,

I’m so sorry to hear about your experience. Sixty years is a long time to live in a body that doesn’t feel right! My heart goes out to you.

I deeply appreciate and understand your question. I struggled with this very question prior to (and even following) my breast reduction surgery a long time ago.

I agree that Spirit gives everything for a reason. But someone once pointed out to me that everything includes surgery! Especially when you consider that a particular surgery might really help us!

In some people’s cases, gender affirming (or as I like to call it, gender aligning) surgery is the most sacred possibility.

I know that for me, I can imagine there may have been more lessons to learn from continuing to have the breasts I did when younger. But I have stopped questioning whether it was the right or best thing for me to choose surgery. There are countless reasons why it was the best thing for my being and for my soul!

A red flag goes up for me whenever I hear someone say that they might choose something except for their age. In this case, if you are uncomfortable in your body, that’s something that you will never get a break from, for every day you are here on the planet.

I suppose there may be an age one could reach where certain changes wouldn’t feel appropriate any more. But to me, that would be far later in life, or if one had a health challenge that would make surgery a questionable thing to do. At what point does it become appropriate to say “I will choose to remain in a body that’s not a fit, even though I have another option?”

I understand that there are many questions to take into consideration for you that I can’t know. But I would recommend you look closer at your reasoning for not investigating the possibility.

Perhaps Spirit has given you a body that’s doesn’t fit in order to support you in making the difficult decision of putting your joy first? It could  be the best thing for the evolution of your soul for you to prioritize your happiness in such a way.

I certainly see, for myself, that the choice I made was the best for me in every way and on every level. The body I had prior to my surgery created much pain for me, both physical and emotional. There was short-term suffering to go through with the surgery. But the long-term effects have been filled with blessings! I am deeply grateful to Spirit for the learning gained from the body I was given originally, and for the body I was given by choice.

Perhaps you want to re-think it? At least if you still choose not to take further action, you will know it’s a choice to be in the body you’re in. You won’t feel like a victim of it any more. There is freedom either way with more reflection.

And may you be blessed by whatever you choose!

Thank you for writing.

Blessings and Love to you in all you do!

In Joy, Melissa

What is your experience with living your truth and medical interventions ? Share your comments below!

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