Serenely Single

Dear Serenely Single,

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved partner. I’m sending extra love your way.

If you’ve been following Z and I for long, you could guess the first part of what I’m going to say next:

That it’s your life. And it sounds like you’re doing fabulously well! Congratulations on making it through the last couple of years and landing in serenity. That’s amazing.

There’s a saying Z and I both use quite a lot: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!” You sound very clear about what’s best for you. And darned happy to boot. So I say… Stay the course!

There may come a time when your heart calls to you to explore a new romantic relationship. But only you know when that time may be. Meanwhile, enjoy your life with your sweet animals!

Family dynamics, and unsolicited advice about what you should do with your life is another challenge altogether. How you handle this – how honest to be when responding – depends on the person you’re talking to. It’s always nice to start with honestly expressing your gratitude for their caring. (Because almost certainly, their suggestions do come from a loving place.) With someone you’re closer to, you might have a longer conversation.

In general, you could explain that this past couple of years has been incredibly difficult, and that you’re appreciating the simplicity and ease of your life with your pets. You could even suggest that there may be a time when you’ll do what they’re suggesting. And you can say that when you check in with your own heart, it doesn’t feel like that time is here yet.

I think it can soften the experience if the advice-giver feels heard. That’s why saying something like, “You may be right that a new partner would be the best for me some time” can relieve pressure in the situation. Your friends and family get to feel like the help they wanted to give you was received, even if you’re saying “not now” in the next breath.

If they truly seem concerned for you, you can promise them that you’ll take it under advisement as you move forward.

And if you’re very close, you could even consider letting them know that it’s been hard for you to receive other people’s suggestions when the suggestions are so different from what feels true and right to you!

As you move through life, may you continue to open to love, in all forms! The love you feel with Spirit and Life Itself. The love you still have with your partner. The love you feel with your pets. And the love and connection you have with family and friends.

Blessings and Infinite Love to you always!

In Joy,

Melissa

What is your experience with advice from friends and family? Share your comments below!

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