Dear Meli,

I ended my last romantic relationship about five years ago. Since then, I’ve been doing tons of prayer and visualization work about bringing in my perfect partner. I know they’re coming – I can feel them. But sometimes I get discouraged. I thought they’d be here by now. I’m wondering if I’m doing something wrong. What do you think?

Impatient with the Infinite

Dear Impatient,

Dear Impatient,

First of all, Yay You for doing your work to allow in your perfect partner! And for writing about your discouragement regarding the timing.

Spiritual practice is tricky when it comes to timing. We can know and trust that the manifestation is coming and still have feelings of frustration that it hasn’t shown up yet. It’s normal. And not bad at all.

Frustration doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong!

However, I do allow such feelings to inform me, in case there is anything amiss in my own consciousness. I suggest these steps, added to your current practice:

1) When I hit a mood of frustration, I ask questions that might uncover any old hidden stories keeping my good from me. For instance:

* When my person is here, what will be different? Am I resisting those differences?

* Am I loving myself in the ways I want to receive love? (Buying myself flowers, taking myself out, etc)

* If not, am I certain I feel deserving of the love I long for?

These lines of inquiry can be helpful to uncover hidden fears or resistance. And if nothing reveals itself, trust that, too.

2) Clarify anything you need to about your person. For instance, have you written down the qualities they will absolutely need to have for you to be happy in the type of relationship you want (i.e. monogamous and/or long-term, etc)?

3) Look for what you can appreciate about this time as long as you’re in it.

For instance, you might take advantage of activities you most enjoy that are solo activities. Things that will be unable to happen as often once your person is in your life.

4) Speak to your fears, outloud. Tell them that they have no power over you, and no power over Spirit’s Love. Speak the Truth to them, with passion.

For instance, “You are just fear. You’re not even really from this present time at all, and you hold no power over me! You have no power in my life or in what Spirit is doing to bring me and my person together. It is the Divine Power of Love that is the all-powerful cause in my life. I gratefully thank you, fear, for showing yourself to me so that I can remind myself of what is true here. It is Love. And I allow this greater love, in human form, to come to me now! Spirit is conspiring for this good for me, and it shall be done in divine timing. In the meantime, I let you go back to the nothingness from whence you came. I rest in peace, knowing my good is on its way. And I welcome it.”

5) Do everything you can to stop waiting. Find other people you enjoy your time with, to do the kinds of activities you may have been putting off. Waiting to take a vacation with your person to Hawaii? Take one soon, with a close friend, or alone, and soak up the love in each moment.

And most important of all, once you’ve done these things, trust Spirit’s timing.

We can’t know all of what’s going on in the universe while we think we’re “waiting.” Sometimes we’re still learning what we need to in order to open to the next level of good. In the case of relationships, the time could be necessary for the other person to learn what they need to, so they can receive their new level of good! Or maybe we need to be uncoupled for a while to learn completely unrelated things!

Heck. Maybe we’re just supposed to be learning to be patient and practice faith. Regardless, there’s a great reason. You might even get to know what it was, once your person’s arrived.

Wishing you patience, and self-love along your journey of allowing.

Blessings and Love to you in all you do!

In Joy,

Melissa