photo: cheriejoyful on flickr
When you think about your life, what comes to mind?
Is it bursting at the seams with love and creativity? Or is it just limping along, looking for a place to rest its weary head? Or maybe it’s somewhere in between.
Wherever you fall on the spectrum, my guess is that things could be better. Even if they’re already great, they can always get better. Right?
But how do you get from here to there? Whether you’re limping along or jumping for joy, how do you make things better?
photo: RichardBH on flickr
Before I answer that question, I need to point out the two major approaches to spiritual growth. These two approaches play a key role in how we tackle the question of making things better.
These two approaches can be summed up in two phrases:
“Make it happen” and “Let it happen”
1. “Make It Happen”
photo: official navy page on flickr
The “Make it happen” folks are the ones who use affirmations, prayer and creative visualization. They read Abraham-Hicks and Shakti Gawain, and go to place like the Centers for Spiritual Living. If “Make it happen” folks want something changed in their lives, they use a wide variety of techniques to bring it into being.
The advantage of this approach is that you’re utilizing your Divine creativity to change your life for the better. The disadvantage of this approach is that your ego – or elf self – can get in the way, sabotaging the process with its petty ideas and unexamined beliefs.
2. “Let It Happen”
photo: Lisa Omarali on flickr
The “Let it happen” folks are the ones who do nothing to disrupt the natural flow of life. They read Eckhart Tolle and the Tao de Ching and go to Gangaji retreats. Rather than changing their lives, they find ways to make peace with what is.
The advantage of this approach is that you cultivate an ability to surrender to the Divine. The disadvantage of this approach is that your ego can hijack the process and keep you stuck in less-than-desirable circumstances, insisting that “it’s God’s will.”
An integrated approach to the spiritual path involves both of these views. The key is knowing when to lead with the “Make it happen” view, and when to soften into “Let it happen.
Which brings me to the topic of changing your life for the better.
photo: Alex Valli on flickr
The title of this blog is “How to Make Your Life Better Than You Could Ever Imagine.” One would assume that this puts me solidly in the “Make it happen” camp.
Yes and no.
Let me explain:
As many of you know, I’m in a relationship with a wonderful woman named Melissa. In fact, we recently got married!
photo: Karen Fry
My relationship with Melissa is more amazing than I ever would have imagined – a relationship beyond my wildest dreams.
Given that relationships have been the most problematic area in my life, my current relationship is nothing short of a miracle.
So what happened? Let me tell you:
Four years before I met Melissa, I started opening to the idea of a new relationship. Using both affirmations and affirmative prayer, I began to envision a fabulous new intimate relationship.
For those of you who read my previous post on affirmations – and for those of you who have ever worked with affirmations – you know that the first step of affirmative work is wading through unexamined beliefs that are flushed to the surface by the new, affirmative thinking.
That’s what happened to me. All kinds of old, limited beliefs about relationships began to manifest in the form of actual interactions with actual people. Given that relationships had been so problematic to me, this was not surprising.
But it was also pretty frustrating.
At one point, several years into the process of affirming my new relationship, I went to hear a talk at the Center for Spiritual Living Santa Rosa given by a woman named Melissa Phillippe. Yup, the Melissa.
photo: Michael Corsentino
In case you’re wondering, there were no lightning bolts, no proclamations from the sky. I had no idea that this was my soul mate. There was just this woman on stage, talking about affirmative prayer.
But what she was saying definitely got my attention.
Melissa was talking about the power of the phrase: “Better than I could ever imagine.” Specifically, she was talking about the power of this phrase to release our small, limited beliefs about what’s possible in our lives. She explained that this phrase allows us to open to the Divine’s ideas for us.
The minute I heard her say this, I knew I needed to start using this phrase in my affirmations about a new relationship.
I had been clinging to my old, outmoded ideas of relationships, ideas that were manifesting in less-than-desirable real-life interactions. It was time to let in a new idea.
A Divine idea.
photo: Isaac Wedin on flickr
So that’s what I did. The next day, I started affirming a relationship that was more amazing than I could ever imagine. And not just more amazing – more creative, more passionate, more fun, more transformational, more alive.
Yes, I was “making it happen” – I was using my mind and the power of my imagination to affirm the qualities I was desiring in my new relationship. But I was also “letting it happen” by trusting the greater wisdom of Source to manifest a relationship that was even greater than my small mind could conceive.
And that’s what happened.
About a year after I started my “better than I could ever imagine” prayers, I attended a retreat called WomanSpirit. And who was there?
Melissa Phillippe.
She came up to introduce herself to me because she’d heard I’d written a novel and she wanted to talk to me about it. We had a great chat about creativity and spirituality. A few months after that, I went to her for some lessons in improvising on the piano. During my second lesson, we ended up talking for more than four hours. We both felt like we’d found our new best friend.
We then proceeded to spend two months falling in love without realizing what was happening.
When we finally woke up to what was going on, I realized that my prayer had manifested.
Unexpectedly. Miraculously. Divinely.
photo: WomanSpirit sister
So when I say that you can make your life more amazing than you could ever imagine, I mean it.
Whether your life is already amazing, or only so-so, it can get even better. Find a way to incorporate the phrase “Better than I could ever imagine” into your daily life – be it in meditation, affirmations, or even just daydreaming.
You can “Make It Happen” and “Let It Happen.” And it will be amazing.
I guarantee it!
photo: Karen Fry
How do you “Make it happen”? And how do you “Let it happen”?
Another great post, for which I am most grateful. Many thanks Z. And Big Congratulations to you both. You’re getting just what you deserved!
Hi Laura,
Yeah, getting what you deserve doesn’t have to be a bad thing at all. Nice way to put it! 🙂
XOZ
Z, Not only did you find your “Soul Mate” but our family got a wonderful addition. Love you,
Hi Connie,
Gosh, thanks! 🙂 I feel the same way. I’m blessed to be a part of your family and to have you as my mom-in-law! 😉
XOZ
Hey Congratulations! I’m so happy to hear that you two got married!
There’s an even brighter shine to the day celebrating for and with both of you!
You both bless us all!
Hi Laura,
Thank you! It was a great wedding, to a great woman. Life is good. Love to you.
XOZ
OF COURSE it was great! And I love your Emails, but don’t need two of each…. XO ~L
Do you mean that you got two Mail Chimp emails this week?
Congratulations!! Sounds like a great start. I so enjoy your sense of humor, I laugh through all your sound advice.
Thank you for just being you.
Lorraine
Hi Lorraine,
Great to hear from you! I’m glad you’re enjoying the posts. Stop on by and comment again any time! 🙂
XOZ
Hi Z!
As for making it happen vs letting it happen – I am pretty good at the first and kinda sucky at the second but am working on it. It is why I choose “River” as my name – to remind me to be in the flow of things. Surrendering and trusting are lifelong challenges of mine. I would love to hear anything you have to say about how to do that easily and effortlessly.
As for you and the Divine Ms M……..Perfect and Happy seem to come to mind. Here is an Irish Blessing for you both.
May your mornings bring joy and your evenings bring peace.
May your troubles grow few as your blessings increase.
May the saddest day of your future
Be no worse than the happiest day of your past.
May your hands be forever clasped in friendship
And your hearts joined forever in love.
Your lives are very special,
God has touched you in many ways.
May his blessings rest upon you
And fill all your coming days.
Hugs,
River
Hi River,
What a beautiful blessing. Thank you for this. I will share it with Melissa.
As for surrendering and trusting, its a day-to-day thing. I ask for Help a lot. And then I open to receive it. Meditation also helps tremendously in this respect. Talking things out with friends also helps. I can hear what I need to surrender when I talk out loud to others and hear what I say! 🙂
Abe (Abraham-Hicks) has also helped me a lot, and I know that you’re a Friend of Abe as well. They’ve helped me see that I can trust my emotions and my body in leading me the right way, and I’m learning to trust this more and more.
I suspect I’ll need to write another blog post (or four) to really cover this topic. 🙂
XOZ
I miss my soulmate Andrew and perhaps I have been trying too hard to make things happen……….as I have cleared away my issues of the past I am just going to affirm, “Better than I could ever imagine”………..:))
Hi Michael,
I’ll hold that for you as well: Better than you could ever imagine! It’s amazing what can happen. . . . 🙂
XOZ
Thanks for assisting me in amping the power of my affirmations. For years I was on the Make it Happen track, and effectively got a lot done, and wore myself out. It was that way for reasons, and now I choose a more peaceful pace. However, I need the key phrase. My imagination, even at peak ,is not so good in the relationship arena. I will now use the phrase. Thanks to you and to Melissa, and also for the amazing music on Sunday. The place was rocking, and my spirit was held high. Onward we go…..
Hi Z,
So sweet to read about this from your point of view having only heard it from Melissa. You two are a beautiful example of “better than ever imagined.”
Loved seeing you both last week!
Love ya, Laura
Hi Laura,
Great to hear from you! 🙂
I’m aware that it’s taken me longer than Melissa to start telling our story. Better late than never, I guess. 😉
It was wonderful to see you at Asilomar. You’re looking fabulous! I loved getting to hang out with all y’all, even if it felt like it wasn’t long enough!
Love love,
XOZ
W-O-W-I-E Z-O-W-I-E, Z is in the zone! Heartfelt congratulations to you
and Melyssa—Here’s to Life, Love and Laughter !
I seem to let it happen when it’s a much bigger issue than little old me.
I notice I try to “make it happen” when there’s something I feel strongly enough about to take a stand, express myself, etc. XOXO
Hi Cheryl,
I like your elucidation of when you “let it happen” and when you “make it happen.” I find that both are valuable, and necessary. And that, when all is said and done, both approaches have elements of the other. A little yin and yang in the make it/let it game.
XOZ
Just…love. I love all of this.
And it loves you back. It just does. 🙂