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Who’s in Charge of Your Life? Your Self or Your Elf?

Who’s in Charge of Your Life? Your Self or Your Elf?

A while back, I wrote a post about the elf self. The elf self is a kinder, gentler name for the ego. It’s the part of us that’s cut off from our Higher Self. Or thinks it’s cut off from our Higher Self. Self – S(pirit) = elf. Get it?! Viewing the ego as an elf is...

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Is There a Spiritual Cure for Sibling Rivalry?

Is There a Spiritual Cure for Sibling Rivalry?

Dear Meli, This is a little embarrassing. I know I'm too old be be saying this, but... My parents like my sister better and it hurts my feelings. And that's the problem! I don't want to be feeling this way. I want to be the bigger person and just let it go. But I...

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The Alternative to Gratitude

The Alternative to Gratitude

Gratitude is big these days. Oprah’s crazy about it. Scientific studies are being done about it. Everywhere you turn, someone is extolling the virtues of having a gratitude practice – including me! But there’s an alternative practice to gratitude, one that no one ever...

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How Do I Handle Spiritual Body Shamers?

How Do I Handle Spiritual Body Shamers?

Dear Meli, I am an active member of a spiritual community. I have been in this community for a long time, and have always considered myself a valuable member. Others in the community treat me with respect and kindness. Lately, however, there has been a change. A new...

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How Do I Handle My Fire Trauma?

How Do I Handle My Fire Trauma?

Dear Meli, I know that you live in Sonoma County, so I'm curious to hear your take on this. I was evacuated from my home during the wildfires in Santa Rosa. I was out of my house for about a week, but after that I was able to return home. Not everyone was so lucky. I...

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What to Do About the Drunk Guy in Your Head

What to Do About the Drunk Guy in Your Head

We all have him. You may not always hear him, but he’s there. Spouting loud, obnoxious stuff. Blatant lies. Cruel insults. Most people call it the ego, but lately I’ve come to see this aspect of myself as a loud, sloppy drunk dude. Yes, it’s a dude. There are...

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Is Getting Sick a Failure?

Is Getting Sick a Failure?

Dear Meli,  It seems like people who are into consciousness sometimes make getting sick a failure. What's your take on this? I have an illness that I have been living with for years now. Even though I still wish I didn't have it, I have learned to adapt and find ways...

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In Defense of Kumbaya

In Defense of Kumbaya

It's not like we're going to just hold hands and start singing Kumbaya. How many times have you heard a phrase like this, particularly when someone is advocating for a non-superficial approach to problem solving? And yes, I understand this reaction. We definitely...

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Why Do Siblings Have Such Different Childhoods?

Why Do Siblings Have Such Different Childhoods?

Dear Meli, Why do siblings who grew up in the same family have such different memories of their childhood? This might not sound like a spiritual question, but my sister and I, who are very close in age, have very different memories of our childhood, and this has...

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What’s Missing in Most Manifestation Regimes

What’s Missing in Most Manifestation Regimes

For those of us who are into manifestation – and even those that aren’t – there are a few common elements we’ve all come to expect. The vision board. Affirmations. Visualization. But there’s one element to manifestation that often gets left out. This neglected element...

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