Dear Meli,
About a year ago, I was asked to be a part of a new business in my town. At first, things were amazing. My two partners and I were really jazzed about setting up something innovative and new. Their business philosophy seemed to align with everything I stand for and believe in, spiritually and personally. And yet, here I am, one year in, completely disillusioned. At first, I felt like I was doing the lion’s share of the work. So I stepped back a little, to see if my partners would step up. They didn’t. They seem to think that everything’s just going to magically come together without them doing anything to make it happen. They’re big fans of Law of Attraction and think that if we can visualize it hard enough, it will come true. I made a commitment and I don’t like to go back on my word, but I’m not sure I can keep moving forward. I’m a believer in Law of Attraction too, but I also know that you still need to act in the world. One of the partners is a close friend of over twenty-five years, which makes the whole thing even more complicated. I’m curious to hear your ideas about this situation. Thank you!
Bummed in Business
Dear Bummed,
Goodness. I am so sorry to hear about this for you! It sounds like a big bummer, indeed!
Life sometimes just has tough stuff in it. So it can be challenging to know when to walk away. When is our staying an expression of loyalty and pushing through these normal challenges? And when is it a form of self-abuse?
I’m sorry to say that, from what I’m reading, this does seem to sound like the latter. (Big Bummer, indeed!) Especially when combined with the long-standing friendship. And yet, given that it sounds like there has yet to be a direct communication with your team, there may still be hope?
The Law of Attraction is something I, too, believe in. And…hard work is also something I believe in! Realistic expectations play a nice role in the mix as well. Because law of attraction can truly work wonders. But it can also be used as an excuse to not take actions.
For both Z and I, we’ve found that the sweet spot lies in our relationship with the Divine. By nourishing and nurturing that connection, we can hear more clearly and directly what is ours to do, and not do, in any situation.
To assume that utilizing the Law of Attraction means we just lay around all day, waiting for the doorbell to ring with our next great opportunity is not what that teaching says! When we’re not listening to the ways we are meant to step up and play with Spirit, we are missing out on the opportunity to play in the magical sandbox of co-creation. Listening leads to inspired actions, which leads to co-creating with the Divine. The best!
Obviously, great friends don’t always make great business partners. We each have such unique approaches, styles of working, and willingness to dig in. It sounds like this could simply be a mismatch. Sometimes these can be fixed by adjusting to one another’s ways. But that obviously takes two people who understand that there’s a problem, who both want the same things, and who are willing to compromise to work together in a cohesive and collaborative work environment.
After praying and meditating on it to get clear about your own needs, wants, and commitments to yourself etc., I would suggest a conversation. Perhaps that conversation could be had with your longest-standing friend/business partner first? Because by not having the conversation, you’re both acting out unspoken resentment and accepting the status quo. This won’t lead to clarity. You can’t fully know if they’re willing to step up until you talk to them about it.
Of course, your experience will be best heard by you sticking to your own feelings, and steering clear of judging them. (I know you may know this, so forgive me for saying it – but it will make all the difference!)
If you’re still hopeful about working things out, you could suggest a meeting for recalibration, both spiritual and practical. Ask them to help you figure out how to make things better, for the company and you. Clarifying goals and assigning tasks could be a great thing to do as well. This will allow you to see what they’re willing to take on, or not.
It’s tricky, this kind of choice. Walking away too soon will only lead to potential regret and carrying incompletions into whatever you do next. But staying too long can be horrible for everyone! If you’re not in your right place, then staying is prolonging your suffering and isn’t allowing the natural course of things (which may include the company or endeavor dissolving). Staying in a not-good situation would only lead to more and more dramatic resentments and unhappiness, and would take longer to recover from when you do finally let go.
Only you can know where this situation sits on that spectrum at this point. Regardless, you certainly deserve to work and create with others who share a similar commitment to the balance of grit and grace. Even if this means walking away and grieving a bit first. Creating and holding out for your most aligned work situation will absolutely be worth it.
And you are definitely worth that!
Blessings and Love to you in all you do!
Melissa
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