photo: Balint Földesi on flickr
Dear Meli –
I have had a regular spiritual practice for about ten years. It has changed my life for the better in more ways than I can say. A few months ago, I started dating a guy I met through a mutual friend. The relationship is everything I ever wanted, except for one thing – he doesn’t have a spiritual practice and isn’t interested in having one. Other than that, he’s perfect for me. How important is it to have a partner that’s also on a spiritual path?
Solo in San Francisco
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Dear Solo,
First of all, I think there is nothing like the magic of new love! It is most certainly a reflection of you loving you at a new level! Yay for THAT!
Second of all, I think the answer to this question is subjective, but I’ll share some thoughts about it.
If your spiritual practice is a central part of your life, then the answer would depend on how well your partner is able to receive or respond to (and perhaps empathize with) this part of your life.
If he in any way minimizes your spiritual path or practices, this could be very challenging!
Yet, if he doesn’t have a spiritual path of his own but still honors yours, maybe that would be perfectly workable! I know of couples who share in everything but this, and do just fine.
Also, it can be good to look at your definition of spiritual path. Some people have ways of connecting with Spirit that go outside the typical definition of what a spiritual path is supposed to be – walking in nature, for example.
I have found that for myself, having a partner on a spiritual path (though not necessarily the same as mine) has become deeply important to me. But then, I am also completely devoted to my spiritual path. It is my highest priority.
That said, I imagine that the answer to your question is in your own heart, given that you wrote to ask me. The answer is worth pondering.
If it were me, I think the most important thing would be that if I didn’t feel I could talk with my beloved about the spiritual aspect of my life, I’d make SURE I have SOMEONE I can talk to about it. And I would make sure I connect with this person regularly, in order to share this sacred aspect of living.
Please let me know what you decide, and how it goes!
Remember, relationships are a reflection of YOUR consciousness. If your current relationship is not the best fit for you, it’s a step closer to an even better one!
Blessings and Love in All You Do,
Meli
What is your experience of partnership and spirituality? Share your comments below!
Have a question for Meli? Interested in a private session (in person or Skype)? Contact her at meli@ohmygodlife.com
Thank you, Meli! I love this!
I agree with you that it depends on your definition of a spiritual path. My partner has a very different approach to spirituality than I do, but we still manage to get along just great.
Like the Dalai Lama says, “My religion is kindness.” When we have that, we have just about everything!
Hi Gwen.
I totally agree. And how awesome that your relationship works with that kindness as its Center. 🙂
Thanks for writing!,
Meli
I had a partner who was not into the spiritual path and it ended up getting in our way. We parted friends, and in the long run we each ended up finding someone who was more compatible. For me, having a companion who understands spirituality is crucial. I know that this isn’t the case for everyone, but I realized that it is the case for me.
Hey Tim,
How fabulous that you both found more fitting folks! I, too, can’t imagine it working for me to be with someone who isn’t deeply devoted to they spiritual evolution. But I’ve seen many others for whom this is a wonderful thing! You know that saying…to each their own. 🙂 But I LOVE that in your experience, you were also able to part friends! This is a beautiful thing!
My bf of many years has no spiritual path, but has come to recognize that this part of my life is crucial to my happiness. It is disappointing to me at times that he is not interested in participating in some events or opportunities to grow together, but is supportive of my doing these things with friends. I travel, attend retreats, attend classes and go to church without him regularly and he has never once asked me to choose him over my spiritual practice. Would I love for him to show an interest? Absolutely! But if he does, it will have to be his idea rather than mine. Meanwhile, I always invite him to join me – just in case he decides to one day! 🙂
Hi Aileen, So fun to “see” you here! I love that you are doing your thing and he’s doing his and it’s working for both of you! And I love that you are open to him joining you if he is ever inspired to do so!!! LOTS to Love to you, Meli