
Dear Meli,
My life is pretty great, but…… It’s also kinda boring? My daily routine is pretty much always the same. Get up, meditate, commute to work, work, commute home, dinner with the family, watch tv, sleep. Do it again. My weekend is full of chores and family time. I love my family and my job. And I love my spiritual practice. But the day in, day out, always the same is getting to me. There’s so much to do, I don’t really have the ability to mix it up very much. What do you think?
Ragged With Routine
Dear Routine Ragged,
First of all, congratulations to you on creating a great life! It’s absolutely awesome to have you write from such a good place. But I also hear your cry.
One thing to ask yourself is, “What is it, from me, that feels under- or unexpressed?” Is there some purpose or creativity, or even physicality, that is wanting to move through you, that you haven’t made room for yet?
Or, it may be that your life is inviting you to be more fully engaged with things as you do them. The boredom may be a call to become more present with all you do, rather than having newness or excitement to change things up.
A few things come to mind:
1) A tiny shift can create a big difference. Each week, try something different. An occasional disruption of even a snack at a new cafe, or a no-phone hour, can make a big difference.
You could go outside and play a game or take up some new hobby with your family or sweetheart. It doesn’t actually have to be outside. That would just add more benefits to the equation. Whatever it is, make it something new. Maybe something you’ll suck at, at first. So there’s some challenge to rise to.
If you can’t think of anything, consider looking to Meet Up or a similar group. Find anything you can do, even if it’s for a couple of hours, once a week. And maybe it changes from week to week, or even month to month.
Date night, perhaps? Even once a month? And you take turns surprising the other person with the date?
In other words, throw something small but new into the already rich and rewarding mix. Just to change things up. It can go a long way!
2) If change isn’t the answer, it may be that diving more fully into something you already do might bring greater reward. For instance, if you enjoy cooking, or any other hobby, try devoting yourself more fully to it. See if that fulfills something missing.
3) Consider bringing the sacred into some of your routine. This can turn routine into a ritual.
Pick a word of the day to focus on or aspire to.
Think of someone you know who is suffering and send love and light their way while doing something that would normally be more mindless.
Make a small altar in your office, or light a candle at your desk before you start work.
4) Consider replacing the nighttime t.v. time. I know it probably feels like all you can do by then, after such a full day. But consider changing it up. As relaxing as it is, there are other ways to relax that can bring more fulfillment.
Like reading. Or, if you don’t like to read, listen to a podcast? Something that takes you out of your daily life, and might even expand your thinking or creativity.
5) Consider this. Sometimes life can be kind of boring. I’m not the only one I know who lives a life with tons of variety in it! But then, even the variety can start to look the same after a bit. Life has patterns. And maybe some of us find great comfort in that. But some of us can find it…boring. Or sometimes boring.
When I start to feel this way, I imagine how I might feel if I suddenly didn’t have some aspect of my current life. How I might miss it. This can sometimes bring me back to the same activity with a new sense of appreciation.
And speaking of appreciation, consider the next possibility:
6) Start a Gratitude Practice. Spend some time diving more deeply into noticing what you appreciate about each of those wonderful things you do each day. Details are key in this.
Which may well lead to the final suggestion:
7) Create small moments of wonder and curiosity in your day. You can even set an alarm on your phone or watch and do this with whatever you happen to be doing when it goes off. Get deeply curious about whatever you’re doing in these little moments. Notice the light moving across the wall, or the way someone’s mouth moves as they talk. Your drink as it moves through your mouth and slides down your throat. When we get really present, almost anything can stop feeling boring and become a magical experience.
One spiritual teacher I had suggested, as a way to get deeply present, to practice tiny shifts of habits. For instance, when bathing, wash yourself in a different order. Drive a different route to work. Try a 5-minute creative practice, even if you’re gonna suck at it.
Life is so amazing, especially one lived consciously, while growing and evolving!
And it sounds like yours is a good one.
Diving more fully into the moments you already appreciate can be so rewarding.
But if that’s not quite it, start small, and watch what happens.
Thank you for making me think about this. I appreciate it very much. May your already-beautiful life be enriched by the little things, and lead to an even more fulfilling creation!
Melissa
What is your experience with routine and boredom? Share your comments below!
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Melissa i think your response is pretty thorough so I have nothing to add, but I thought I’d share a bit about my mother. I thank her for helping me to let go of the idea of being bored. When I was a kid and I went to her with..”I’m so booorrrrreddddd!” She would tell me there are lots of things to do if I just think about it. And if I couldn’t come up with something.. she has lots of chores I could do!! Egad. Not that bored, mom!!! She also had a knack for making mundane things fun. When she and I would go grocery shopping we’d ride the carts, race each other, play with stuff, make up stories and adventures about people we saw. And we’d end it with an ice cream treat, just her and I. We would sing and dance while we did our weekly chores. She turned everything into play. I think it created an atmosphere where I was always on the look out for joy… perhaps the beginning of one of my greatest tools… my observer. I find I never… can I say never?…get bored. Your letter made me pause and think of my adult life too… especially the zillion years of raising kids. Nope, not boring. I can remember a time or two when I wished for a little boredom… which really meant I was looking for some ease and calm, probably. I have that now… at age 70 and retired.. ease and calm, that is. A mostly quiet life, slower paced,… and I love it. Still not bored. Lots of simple moments with dear friends and precious family. Volunteering for several organizations for as much time as I desire. Reading. Watching movies and interesting series. And always observing.. seeing, hearing, listening. Open to lessons and learning in all things. Everything is a myth waiting to be deciphered. Curiosity my constant companion. Blessings to you and your readers on the journey with joy and miniscule adventures.
Thank you so much, Marina! Your mom sounds like a FUN person and fabulous mom! (And an Enneagram seven, like me!) Tee hee… Also, I, too, don’t find myself bored. But I do sometimes crave a little adventure to break up the routine. Which is kind of silly, given the total freedom I live in! Love all that you’re up to! And the wonderful addition to the conversation. (As always.)
Thank you for adding your voice! Hugs, m