Dear Meli,
I know most people don’t agree with me, but I am not a fan of Christmas. It’s become so commercial, it drives me crazy. And all the social obligations that crop up this time of year can be overwhelming. My family of origin is all gone, so I don’t have to spend time with family, Thank God. But I’m not sure how to deal with my Grinch-like attitude to the rest of it. Even though I don’t want or need to turn into a hard core Christmas fanatic, I would like to have less discomfort this time of the year. Thoughts?
Ho Ho Hater
Dear Hater,
I’m so sorry this has happened for you! I know you’re not alone in this. The holidays (like everything else possible to exploit) has become quite commercialized. And it certainly can be disenchanting.
My best advice to you is to try doing what I did some years ago.
I always loved the winter holiday season. But family obligations and expectations, on top of party season, started to wear me down.
What I did was reinvent the holidays for myself. I first looked to the origins of some of the holidays at this time of year. I’m referring to the original Saturnalia. Most of the current religious celebrations are variations or evolutions of Saturnalia celebrations. Celebrating what? The return of the Sun! The return of the light. During the darkest time of the year, it’s a lovely thing to know that more warmth and light is coming!
That said, there can be no denying the need for more rest this time of year. That is the natural response to lesser light! The universe is telling us to rest and sleep more. (I’ve always marveled at the common response to this time of year – party more and sleep less!)
Finally, I like to celebrate snuggling in and resting. Part of how I’ve done this is to spend more time in meditation, inner work, and practices that support the evolution of my consciousness.
I particularly enjoy finding meaningful articles about the teachings of some of the celebrated spiritual teachers. Specifically and especially, learning more about teachers and prophets from religions and spiritual worlds that aren’t what I grew up hearing about. Reflecting on their teachings can help me find my own ways of celebrating! They can help me find my own meaning to the times.
Most especially, honoring how you’re feeling is so huge! Imperative! You are not alone in your feelings. Share honestly with someone you know can hear it. Allow yourself to “Bah Humbug” away when that’s what your soul is calling you to. There might be some important feelings in there to explore – which will only reveal themselves if given time and honesty.
There is no wrong way to do this! I hope your holidays are blessed and a blessing!
Blessings and Love to you in all you do!
In Joy, Melissa
What is your experience with an inner grinch? Share your comments below!
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For the longest time I hated the season of Xmas. The memories I had of the family and the trauma served to intill dread when it came around. Then I decided after every one of my family obligations were done, I would celebrate in my own way. Celebrate the light and my own renewal. Now it is easier to just enjoy the love.
Hi Sally,
That’s SO awesome that you’ve found a way to celebrate in your own way. This is inspiring to hear. Thank you!
BIG Love,
Melissa
I am 68 for a few more days and for the first time in n my life discovered the holidays are all about me. My past humbug came from not liking myself. But now since I am starting a love affair with myself, I see myself everywhere in the holidays. The candles in the menorah reflect the light in me. I am the miracle reflected in the oil. I am that baby in the manger so worthy of adoration and love. I am the Grinch’s heart growing with love at the end of the story. How can I humbug when I feel like Scrooge waking up on Christmas morning, a changed man. Unconditional love to myself was a mystical experience and no words or stories or songs will make sense until you’ve had that experience. The only hope I can give to my humbug gers is that it is possible.
Hi Gary,
Your joy and infectious love definitely take the Humbug out of the Holidays for us! Thank you!
XOZ
I’m sorry guys this is not on topic but it is the holidays and there’s one group in my family that I’m dreading showing up at their celebration. Just one person drew my partner Deborah and I into a situation and I had total trust and that everything would be fine. Then a few months later everything changed and she and the other people in the house made us feel like we were the enemy and it got so bad that we had to leave there was never any logical explanation for this behavior and moving there and then leaving cost me about $4000 out of my savings which was substantial I felt I was betrayed and deep down I’ve been holding onto that anger for a couple years now I know it’s not healthy and I need to MoveOn but I need some help thanks for listening
Hi Michael,
I’m so sorry to hear about that situation. It sounds quite challenging indeed. Sending you love and blessings this holiday season, including peace of mind with everyone in the family.
BIG Love,
Melissa
I am spending this season recovering from surgery, in a hospital away from home, so I’m falling back on our old friend gratitude! Yay, I survived! The pain is way less than I thought it would be. My care team rocks. My daughter drove two hours to see me. My Center has been dousing me in Treatments. And instead of fussing over observances, I am being gloriously lazy. My family laughs: “The things some people will do to keep from gaining weight over the holidays!”
Hi Leslie,
This is so beautiful. I love that you are taking such impeccable care of yourself, dousing yourself in gratitude. How beautiful!! Merry Merry to YOU!
BIG Love,
Meli
Dear Ho Ho Hater,
I can relate. Back in 1991 while trying to shop for gifts for family and friends I found myself becoming irritated wondering if the gifts I purchased would be something they would like, or would it in up in a closet. They could all afford whatever I could give them and they certainly didn’t need anything. That’s when I discovered the Giving Tree with paper starts with children names and ages on them. So I picked up a star for every person on my Christmas list and sent a card to my family and friends stating, “instead of you getting a give from me this year, Susie will get a Barbie doll, or Tommy will get a Tonka truck, and so on. And I asked my people not to send me a gift, but instead buy something for a child through some charitable organization. This really brought back the meaning of Christmas for me and I’ve been doing it ever since. When I lived in HW one year I missed the Giving Tree but found there were several kids in the homeless shelter from infants to teens. I purchased gifts for them all, wrapped them and the tag said they were from Santa. I few month later I received an envelope filled with thank you note addressed to Santa. I cried like a baby. I still read those letters and get choked up every time. For me, this is what Christmas is all about.
Hi Kathleen,
What a wonderful idea!!! Thank you for sharing this with us. It’s such a great way to bring true holiday spirit back into the holidays. Wow. Thank you!
BIG Love, Meli