Dear Meli,
How do you deal with motivation? Like, being motivated to do things? I seem to have a hard time getting myself to do almost everything, including spiritual practice. I always feel better when I do it, but it usually feels better not to. Or easier. Or something. Maybe I’m just lazy. Either way, I would love some advice about how to get more motivated!
Needing a Nudge
Dear Nudge-Needed,
Personally, I am the type of person who’s just naturally motivated. It helps that while I do lots of stuff, pretty much all of what I do is fun for me. It’s just in my nature that I like to do stuff. The challenge I have is getting myself to not do! So I’ll answer this from a little bit different angle.
First of all, allow me to suggest an author to you. His name is James Clear. He writes all about habits and human potential, supporting people in creating and having better, more fulfilling lives. I’m a big fan of James.
I’ve recently been reading his book, Atomic Habits. The core take-away for me has been that we are habitual creatures. You know how you just do certain things all the time? Like brush your teeth? (I’m assuming…) And how you don’t even have to think about it, really? You just do it, usually in the same time-frame, from day to day.
And have you ever noticed that, no matter what the habit, it’s strange to not do it?! How it just seems wrong to not do what you habitually do?
Well, creating a new habit usually starts out feeling wrong as well! But repetitive action will turn about anything into a habit! Think of the habits you now have, and recall a time when it wasn’t yet a habit. Or maybe you can recall an old habit you changed. Same deal.
Once we’re motivated enough to make a change, it’s just a matter of repeating that new action (or inaction, as the case may be) until it becomes a habit. So that’s one key!
Next up: Getting yourself motivated enough to start!
James Clear talks a lot about our self-image. It’s an important concept. If we think of ourselves as “someone who would never…” have a particular habit, we’ll have an almost impossible battle with ourselves each time we try to get ourselves to do that thing. But if we have a sense of self that aligns with who we would need to be to have that habit, it’ll be pretty darned easy. At least comparatively.
Another basic tenet of behavior change is that of pain vs passion. When not changing is too painful, or changing must be done to move us toward something we’re passionate about, it makes a huge difference. (Of course, changing out of passion is usually preferable to changing out of pain!)
To cultivate a more motivated life, I would recommend the following:
1) Get a copy of ‘Atomic Habits’ by James Clear and read it.
2) Find the pain of not being motivated, and exaggerate that. For instance, think ahead in your life. If you were to continue to not act, how might you feel about your life in – say – 5 or 10 years? Let that really sink in. Feel it deeply.
3) Imagine what your life might become if you were able to take action in a new way. Who might you become in – say – 5 or 10 years? How might your life (and the lives of others) be blessed by your actions?
Don’t try to do too much at one time with this! Just pick one action – ideally the one that means the most to you. Imagine how your life might become better if you did make a habit of that.
4) Set up systems for yourself to inspire you to take action. An obvious system for me is that when I get up in the morning, if what I have laid out for myself is workout clothes, I am about 80% more likely to exercise after getting up!
5) Take one day at a time – and take action in that new way. Use all the above ideas as ways to motivate yourself. And then be sure to celebrate your successes! (And be extra gentle with yourself if you fail to do so on any given day. Then get right back on the proverbial horse the next day!)
6) Tell a new story – to others as well as in your own mind – about yourself as someone who is motivated. Stop talking about how you don’t take action. Talk about what you’re passionate about instead!
I know there are probably others reading this who have more ideas. Please feel free to add to this list!
Meanwhile, here’s to your passion and compelling desire to take action!
Blessings and Love to you in all you do.
In Joy,
Melissa
What is your experience with motivation? Share your comments below!
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