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When you think about name calling, you probably think about taunts, jeers, and other generally-not-nice verbal utterances.
But lately, I’ve been using name calling in another way. An uplifting way.
It goes like this.
I’m in the checkout line at the grocery store. The clerk at the register is someone I’ve never met before. But I know their name.
Not because we’re buds. Not because we spent a wild night partying over a decade ago and I’m just now remembering that I actually know them. No. I know their name because they’re wearing a name tag.
I used to think it was tacky to use someone’s name tag to call them by their name. Like it was a super easy test I couldn’t help but pass. What’s their name? It’s right there on the little tag! All you have to do is say it out loud!
I also used to see it as somehow invasive. They didn’t ask me to call them by name. They’re forced to wear the name tag by corporate policy. Maybe they hate it. Maybe they want to keep their name to themselves. What do I know? (Nothing!)
But then, maybe a year or so ago, I started doing something crazy. I started actually uttering the name on the tag out loud. To the person whose name it was.
And I discovered something.
People seem to love it. They seem to feel seen. Acknowledged. Valued.
I know that when people call me by my name, I feel the same. I feel like they care about me. And maybe they don’t. Maybe it’s all a ruse. But it still feels good.
The latest term for brief connections like this is weak ties.
But connecting with a stranger by calling them by their name feels anything but weak.
It’s an extremely simple and extremely effective way to spread a little love at the grocery store. Or the coffee shop. Or wherever you want to bust out your name-calling chops.
Recently, I had to call my bank about updating some documents. When the bank employee started the call, she told me her name. I used to ignore that part of the call.
What do I care what their name is? I’m probably never going to talk to them again!
But now that I’m in my Name Calling Era, I took note. It didn’t hurt that her name was Melissa, same as my wife. No way am I gonna forget that.
There were a lot of details to hash out and the call took about fifteen minutes. The bank employee was extremely helpful, and at the end of the call, I told her so.
Or should I say, I told her so by adding a little Name Calling to the occasion. I hadn’t said her name yet during the call, so it was like an extra surprise. A tiny verbal gift.
It wasn’t like the grocery store, so I couldn’t see her face, but I felt her lift a little.
I lifted a little. We thanked each other and hung up.
I felt good about that call the rest of the day. I still feel good about it.
It’s such a small, seeming simple thing. But oh-so effective.
The world right now has a lot of crazy, toxic #%&* in it. Some of that toxicity involves name calling.
But when I participate in this kind of name calling, the loving and uplifting kind, I’m adding little particles of light to the festering toxic stew.
And I know, without a doubt, that the more light that gets added to that stew, the less toxic that stew becomes.
A lot of little things can make a big difference. So I’m going to keep up the name calling, in a good way.
Bring on the not-weak ties!
What about you? Do you engage in name calling, in a good way? Share your comments below.
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