We’ve all been there.

Someone asks how you’re doing and you say, “Fine.”

To top it off, you tack on a ridiculous fake smile as punctuation to your lie.

It seems harmless enough, but did you realize you’ve just exhibited the first signs of a disease that’s even more menacing than the New Age Virus?!

I can hear you now: But Dr. Z, what could possibly be worse than the New Age Virus? Nothing could be worse than blaming myself for every last detail of my life! Say it isn’t so!!

My dear Goofballs, it’s time to face the facts. I am only bringing this to your attention because I know you can handle it. There is indeed a syndrome that’s worse than the New Age Virus.

It’s called the Fake-Your-Feelings Flu.

It’s here, it’s evil, and it must be stopped.

The Fake-Your-Feelings Flu comes in many forms and guises. Like the New Age Virus, the Fake-Your-Feelings Flu develops in relation to the awareness that consciousness is creative.

In the case of the New Age Virus, this awareness gets thwarted into an attitude of guilt and blame. Everything that happens to us is “our fault.”

In the case of the Fake-Your-Feelings Flu, guilt and blame – and all other emotions – get pushed underground.

Having realized the powerful influence of our thoughts and feelings, we start to get paranoid. We start to get stealth.

Now that we’ve realized that consciousness is creative, we don’t want to be putting our negative vibrations into the Universe, right?

So we hide our feelings. We stuff them deep into the crevices of our souls where we think no one can see them.

Yeah, right.

There are two major manifestations of the Fake-Your-Feelings Flu: Fake Happy and Fake Mellow.

Fake Happy is easy to spot.

These are the people who are seriously committed to a Super-Charged, Over-the-Top Exuberance. No matter what’s going on in their lives, everything is always “Great! Super!” Not only that, they make sure to let you know that their Olympic-Level Joy is due to their deep and abiding relationship with the Divine.

And then there’s the Fake Mellow folks.

These people are always chill. Always. If you happen to mention that you’re stressed out, they encourage you to tame your attitude and adopt their aura of Boundless Bliss. Like their Fake Happy brethren, the Fake Mellow are quick to point out – in a mellow way, of course – that their chillaxed manner is due to their Up-Close-and-Personal contact with Source.

When you’re around someone who’s Fake Happy or Fake Mellow, there’s the feeling that something is not quite right. A sense that other emotions – anger, frustration, sadness – might be lurking behind the mask of Happy or Mellow.

Now, before any of us jump up on the Soapbox of Superiority, let’s remember that we’re all prey to the Fake-Your-Feelings Flu. It may be easier to spot in others, but all of us are susceptible to such behavior.

After all, feelings – especially uncomfortable ones like anger and fear – can be a pain in the butt. Am I right?

When we’re afflicted with the Fake-Your-Feelings Flu, we mistakenly believe we’ve been given a sanctified reason to stamp out our uncomfortable feelings.

Uncomfortable feelings are “bad.” They’re “wrong.” They’re harshing our Mellow Oneness with the Divine.

But this suppression doesn’t work. As we can see when we detect the Fake-Your-Feelings Flu in others, their auras reek with suppressed emotions.

So what’s a Goofball to do?

Like with the New Age Virus, the elf (a.k.a. the ego) plays a key role. (If you’re new to Goofball Land, you can read more about the elf here.)

The cure to the Fake-Your-Feelings Flu is to allow the elf to express itself.

We all have a variety of elves inside us: Angry Elf. Weepy Elf. Angsty Elf. Fraidy-Cat Elf. All of these little creatures need free reign to feel their feelings. And by feel their feelings I do not mean blindly venting these feelings at ourselves or others.

I mean that our little elves need to express themselves in a safe, contained environment. An environment like journaling; talking with a friend or counselor; creative expression through writing, painting, music, or dance.

As we provide the space for our little elves to unburden themselves, everything in our lives will begin to shift.

Paradoxically enough, the vibe we were going for with Fake Happy and Fake Mellow will start to arise naturally. Unburdening the elf allows us greater access to that larger part of us: the Self.

In providing a safe container for our elf selves, we move into that part of us that is much, much more.

Our Self is unified with all of creation. Our Self is aware that everything – including our feelings – is a gift from the Divine. Heck, even the New Age Virus and the Fake-Your-Feelings Flu are part of the dance of Infinite Creation.

So the next time you feel an attack of Fake-Your-Feelings Flu coming on, bring out the elves! Let them dance and play and vent to their hearts’ content!

Free your elves! Free your Self!

How have you manifested the Fake-Your-Feelings Flu? And how did you cure it?