Dear Meli,

I have one sibling, an older sister. We were closer when we were kids, but we’ve grown apart over the years. We are very different. From my point of view, she’s consumed with status and materialist success. From her point of view, I’m a flaky woo-woo person who isn’t connected to the “real world.” I just don’t relate to her at all, and I don’t feel good after we’ve hung out together. The problem is that our mother is still alive and my sister is starting to get a little squirrely with her about money. My mom has a will, leaving her estate equally to my sister and me. But lately my sister has been talking my mother into giving her jewelry and financial gifts. Ultimately, I don’t care that much about the jewelry, but I also have a sense of fairness, and my sister seems to be encroaching on my mother’s intentions for an equal distribution of her estate. I’ve tried talking to my mother about it, but she brushes me off, saying that I’m just jealous of my sister. My mother is also starting to decline mentally, and I fear that my sister is taking advantage of that. I trust Spirit and the larger picture here, but I don’t trust my sister! What should I do?

Sabotaged Sibling 

Dear Sabotaged,

I am so very sorry to hear about your dilemma! It’s sad enough to grow apart from someone you were once close with. When they’re a sibling, and still connected by blood, it’s an ever-present reminder. Especially when one of your parents is still alive, keeping you connected. In this case, you’re challenged with the added difficulty of their scheming to “get more.”

I have a similar knee-jerk reaction to such situations as you. “Not fair! Not fair!”

This is true when the scheming is affecting my situation, or when it’s affecting someone else. Like you!

So believe me when I say that this really bothers me! Also, just to confirm what you may be feeling, it is, indeed, Not fair!

When I first read your quandary, I felt incapable of responding. Because if your mom is defensive of your sister’s actions, and brushing you off, and seems to be declining mentally, it makes it very difficult to manage. Unless you plan to move in with your mother and protect her, and your future inheritance, in the process.

So I’m left with prayer, support and surrender.

1) Prayer. Prayer for peace of mind and your own sanity. Prayer for your sister and your mother. Prayer to be released from the karma of the entire situation (from any previous experiences and from this one!), and prayer to be able to let go of what you can’t manage or control. And asking others for prayer for yourself, for any and all of the above.

2) Get support. This may or may not refer to legal support. Most likely, given your mom’s voluntarily gifting items to your sister which she is certainly entitled to do, not of the legal variety. But there are many forms of support! To allow the feelings to move on out, talk it out with someone who can deeply listen, perhaps even a professional – therapist or coach. Dance it out to move the energy from becoming stuck in your body. Scream it out into a pillow. Support your inner child who is screaming out for fairness and love in this situation, and may be triggered about the past. Pamper yourself, and your inner child. Do all you can to care for your sweet self in the midst of this.

3) Surrender. Oh so challenging…surrender in advance. Once you do all you can, it’s time to let go of the rest. Because you really can’t control all the dynamics and details of this. And the only way to really find peace will be to surrender. Surrender your emotions, suffering, and judgments to Spirit. Ask Spirit to take them from you. To help you. (And, yes. I do realize this is taking it back to prayer, and I already said that…)

I wish I had an answer for you that could take away the injustice, and all bad feelings that come with it! Meanwhile, I wish you the best in this. The highest and best outcome, the greatest blessings, and the most profound peace of mind in the midst of all of it.

All the best in all things…
Melissa

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