Dear Meli,

I have a friend who watches the news every day. She’s really upset about everything that’s going on in the world and it’s really stressing her out. I, on the other hand, do not watch the news. I know that there’s a lot going on in the world and it makes my heart heavy. But I also truly believe that everything that’s going on is the old world dying to allow a new world to be born. I know that the more I can hold a vibration of love in everything I think, do, and say, the better I can contribute to the rise of the new world. I’m writing this to you because I think you may understand what I’m saying. Needless to say, my friend does not. She thinks I live in a fantasy land. She’s not mean to me about it, but I know she thinks that. We’ve been friends since we were kids and I don’t want to write her out of my life. But it’s hard for me to see how stressed she is. And I know that she doesn’t think about things in the same way I do. I’m finding that I don’t want to spend as much time with her these days, and then I feel bad about that. After all, I want to be a place of love – including for her! Do you have any thoughts or suggestions for me?

Leading With Love

Dear Leader,

Thank you so much for writing. I’m sorry to hear about your conflict with your friend. And I certainly understand.

First, let me say that I know people on both sides of the equation you’re describing. And I have to say, I understand both sides.

There is so much going on in the world, and in our country, right now! It’s hard to keep up with all of it sometimes. It’s very stressful and disconcerting to see. It can feel overwhelming. So I certainly understand your friend’s experience of stress and upset!

I also understand that watching the news, and staying connected to the details of the world in that way, is not for everyone. I think it is imperative that we have people who are dedicated to maintaining the highest vibration of love they can. Different people are going to do that in different ways! This is the nature of humanity in all our infinite glory and grace.

I have friends who are able to do both. These friends watch the news, read the news, connect with others about what’s going on, and feel they’re able to maintain the high vibration that is being called forth. I think this is amazing.

I also have friends who don’t feel able to maintain that highest vibration within their own hearts when they get too stressed and weighed down by the details of all that’s happening.

I have noticed that some of the friends I have, from both camps, can sound judgmental about “the others.” This can be easy to slip into for myself, I’ve found. For me personally, I don’t think we have to look far to find some fear underneath this judgment.

Fear that maybe we’re not doing it right, or are not doing enough.

Fear that others are judging us, so we’d better defend our stance.

Fear that, if we’re on the more sensitive side, that maybe we’re not contributing enough.

Fear that if everyone doesn’t it the way we know is best, everything’s going to get much worse. And we might be partly responsible.

Fear that we’ll be rejected for our way.

Fear that we’re not enough.

And on, and on, and on. Underneath judgment, we usually can find fear. We can find this in both camps.

I certainly understand the thinking that if someone is doing something that is causing them extreme duress, perhaps they should consider not continuing that thing. But I also know that everyone is doing their best, following their own path. There could be an argument for a view that we’re all getting it wrong, as well as one for the view that we can’t get it wrong as long as we’re doing our best. But then, we’re all always doing our best!

All this is to say, there is no right or wrong way to deal with everything that’s going on. There are certainly people who will say there is, though! (There are always going to be those people on the sides of any debate.)

We don’t need to agree with everyone we hang out with, certainly. But it can become difficult to remain close with someone if they’re heading down a path that seems to turn them into someone we don’t like to be with. (Back to basic human nature again.)

I’m assuming you’ve tried to redirect conversations when your friend starts to “go there” and get stressed out? You can do this without saying what you’re doing. But you certainly can just ask for what you need, straight up. Let them know you’re doing your best to limit your time in such discussions, in order to maintain your peace of mind. And ask if they’re willing to talk about something else.

I’m also assuming you’ve tried silently praying for them when they start to talk about their fears about the world. Or suggesting you try doing things together that might ease their stress. Like volunteering, or helping a neighbor.

I invite you to check in with yourself on this. Are you judging yourself for wanting to lessen your time and connection with your friend? Even though it’s been turning into a friendship that brings you less and less joy, and more and more stress?

It’s one thing if someone is going through an unusual life passage that’s particularly stressful and painful. We all have such journeys in our lives. I’m not suggesting to “cut and run” any time someone is going through a hard time.

But if someone is walking down a path they’re complaining about, and not making any changes to try to remedy their stress? This can sometimes be a sign that your closeness has become less aligned for you. In which case, maybe you back away from them, and see how that feels.

This is all delicate stuff. Friendships are worth treasuring and valuing! Doing what we can to maintain them is a great thing. Until it isn’t.

Maintaining and guarding your inner peace is never something to feel guilty about! Your inner light, and all that you are doing to maintain it, are honoring and fueling a positive upleveling in the world, adding a calming force to it.

All the best to you in your friendships, and in your own journey of honoring and protecting your heart, and your light. Thank you for carrying the torch in your unique way!

Blessings and Love to you in all you do,

Melissa

Blessings and Love to you in all you do! In Joy, Melissa

What is your experience with the news and friendships? Share your comments below!

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