Dear Meli,

I am a social media addict. Facebook in particular. And here’s the thing. It’s not all bad. I have a bunch of pages I visit daily that offer me inspiration – including OhMyGod Life! But then, once I’ve received my daily inspiration, I seem to end up down a rabbit hole. I don’t know how it happens. Even when I set a timer and vow that I’m only going to spend 30 minutes a day on Facebook, it usually turns into way more. It’s not just going down the rabbit hole that makes me feel sad and numb, it’s also that I have other things I want to do – and my time on Facebook prevents me from getting to them. Any ideas for me?

Facebook Freak

Dear Facebook Freak,

Thank you for having OhMyGod Life among your Facebook visits. We love that!

But. You certainly are not alone in your quandary! Social media is a dark hole for millions of people. And it is designed to be just that! There are master programmers working behind the scenes to figure out the best ways to hook your attention and manipulate your brain. No mistake. They’re very seductive! So you aren’t a freak or a loser at all! Just human, with the mind of a human. And the social media designers know how to hook your very human mind.

There are entire books written about this very challenge. And I don’t consider myself a master. I, too, get snagged from time to time.

Why do I get snagged only  from time to time? I have tricks I use to help my visits be brief. When I use them, they work. Except when I forget to use them. Or when I consciously choose to allow myself to spend more time on social media than usual.

Here are some of the tools I apply:

1) Remain completely off all social media until a certain time each day. Some people simply can’t go down the social media rabbit hole while at work. This alone can be helpful. Me? Not so much. It sounds like you, too, might be in a situation that calls for more self-discipline. Some people have a rule, for instance, that they go on during a lunch break. This allows for a more productive morning. Additionally, I prefer to limit my time to later in the day, and only a few days a week. Overall, I find that staying off entirely is easier, for me, than limiting my time once I logon.

2) Check in on your favorite platform(s) only when you have some other appointment that is going to force you to get off within an appointed time. For instance, I sometimes allow myself to check in on Facebook if I’ve got an agreement to meet with Z about something at a particular time. (For instance, in order to support our sleep, we get off of all devices every night by 8 p.m. We also take a hot tub together at this time. If I am not available for the hot tub with Z at 8 p.m., and they know it’s because I’m on Facebook? They’ll go without me. I hate that! Very inspiring…LOL)

3) Pick just one platform to check in on per day. Or, pick one to not go onto each day – perhaps rotating the platforms you abstain from throughout the week. This can be particularly beneficial for me, because I get to see how little it actually matters when I do this! Not accomplishing something in my life affects my self-esteem. Missing my friend’s post about their kid’s latest report card? Not so much.

4) There are apps available that help to hide social media from your site, or limit your time on them! I haven’t used these but I hear they can be quite effective.

5) Leave your device(s) outside of your bedroom (or meetings, or your office, or off your desk – you get the drift). Leaving your devices out of your bedroom is especially good if you have a difficult time getting to sleep on time. Whether you’re staying on a screen too close to your bedtime to allow you to fall asleep naturally, or the screen-time itself is actually keeping you up, either is remedied by not having a device nearby in the first place.

6) Have a screen-free meal at least once per day. This could be alone or with someone else. Either way, it’s a great practice.

7) Spend time each week developing a screen-free hobby. This is especially valuable if it’s something you do outside. Nature is on the opposite end of the spectrum from devices when it comes to your health and well-being. Time outside counteracts the effects of screen-time. It also helps you see that there’s a world out there to explore that’s more rewarding the virtual one.

8) This one is huge for me! Turn OFF all app-based Notifications! Ever notice that when your phone dings, you totally lose focus? Yeah. That. Stop it.

9) Reach out to your friends or family for actual personal contact, whether by phone or in person! Actual face to face time! It’s more fulfilling. Longing for that connection is part of sucks into the virtual world. It’s so much better to get it IRL.

10) Purge your “friends” and “follows” lists! Similar to turning off notifications, this naturally leads to less contact from apps.

11) Take a trip to somewhere your device won’t work. There are actually technology detox programs! If you think it would serve you to re-set in such a way, there are some programs that sound pretty awesome. Or, if this sounds way too intense,

12) Take a break from all social media. Perhaps head off to a cabin with a friend, or go camping or hiking. Or just hang out with someone for a period of days, sans devices.

Try any of these that sound like they might work for you! Whatever you do, I promise you this: You will be a happier person with less time on social media! It’s a scientific fact.

Blessings and Love to you in all you do!

In Joy,

Melissa

What is your experience with social media? Share your comments below!

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