Dear Meli,

I recently got a promotion at work. That sounds great, right? And it is. But here’s the thing: The day after my promotion, I fell and broke my arm. I’m a landscape architect, and I need my arms to work! I will still be able to fulfill the duties of my promotion, though not without some serious inconvenience. I can’t help but think that breaking my arm is a form of sabotage. This has happened to me before – something good happens to me and I sabotage it. I want to stop doing this! I’m wondering, is there a spiritual cure for sabotage?

Suffering Saboteur

Dear Saboteur,

Congrats on paying attention enough to put this together and see what’s going on. That’s a major step right there!

I’m so sorry to say that I am intimately familiar with this syndrome. It’s both great and awful. I mean, as far as problems go, I’d prefer this to many other possibilities. But this is a real a challenge, for sure! And hurting ourselves is never something to get used to!

There are a few things I do to avoid this scenario:

1) Prayerful Meditation. Meditate regularly. Include, in that meditation, a prayer asking Spirit to shift your consciousness (concepts, beliefs, and self-image) to align your being with the greater good you are creating. Ask the divine to change you, so that you become a magnet for what you want. In the process, imagine yourself already having (or being) whatever you’re wanting as your “next greater good.” Get used to the feeling of having it! Get as many of your senses engaged with this as possible.

When doing this, I often use something along the lines of the following: Spirit, thank you in advance for shifting my beliefs – for changing me in any and all ways that need to be shifted – to make me a perfect magnet for this experience of ______ . This is where you imagine it, and most importantly feel how you think you might feel when this is a reality. How will you think about this area of your life when your prayer is answered? Feel that in this exercise! Close with gratitude for how The All does this so perfectly, in the perfect timing and perfect way. And thank It for this answered prayer, or something even better.

This gets you accustomed to the realization of your dreams before they arrive. This way, when they do occur, it’ll be less of a shock for your psyche.

2) Talk to your brain! Talk directly to your subconscious/unconscious mind. Tell it that it does NOT need to hurt you in order to keep you feeling okay about your life and yourself. Remind it that you are great – perfect, in fact – with all of what you may see as character defects or imperfections. Sometimes I even like to remind my subconscious of all the work I’m doing, both in consciousness and in the world, to create my new reality. I do this to directly counter any unconscious tendency to think that I don’t deserve what’s coming.

3) When a new level of good appears in my life – new relationship, increased income, greater sense of peace or freedom, etc – I remind myself to be extra-gentle with myself. I go on high alert when driving, walking, and moving through the world. I tell myself to imagine I am wearing bunny slippers for a bit, while I acclimate to this new level of good in my life.

4) Ritual is awesome for such times! It’s a powerful way to deepen a shift within, allowing the external shift to line up with your internal reality. This can be a simple thing. You might write about what’s coming in to your life and what’s exiting as a result. Then write down what you are consciously letting go of on a piece of paper. On another piece of paper, write down what you open to. You then burn each piece of paper, separately, letting go of the old and letting in the new. It’s wonderful to sing something that supports this experience at the same time. (For more about rituals, and how you can make up your own, I highly recommend the book: Real Life Rituals, by Karyl Huntley.)

5) Each morning, throw your hands in the air. Leave them there for a minute or two while you practice receiving Spirit’s good, energetically, into your life. Imagine the entire Universe lining up to pour through your arms and into your life with love.

And finally…

6) Be sure you are getting enough rest! Sleep is particularly helpful in times of change. Any other nurturing activities you can add to your schedule will do wonders as well!

Know that everyone has this dilemma. Even the most seemingly confident people, when deeply honest, confess to this dynamic. Remind yourself to be gentle with yourself about it. And love you in every way you can!

And congratulations on this wonderful challenge in your life!

Blessings and Love to you in all you do!

In Joy,

Melissa

What is your experience with self-sabotage? Share your comments below!

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