Dear Meli,

At the beginning of Covid and Shelter at Home, a lot of my friends and family were freaking out. I, however, was cool, calm, and collected. Everything was going to be fine, I told everyone. Yeah. But see, this thing just keeps going. It’s still going on! And there’s no end in sight. I’m starting to freak out a bit. I’m feeling stressed and claustrophobic and I just want to go to a freaking MOVIE and hug people and go for a drink at a bar. Do you have ANY words of wisdom for someone like me?

SO Over It

Dear Over It,

Yes, indeed. I think we all thought this would be long gone by now! WTF?! Right?

Before I make suggestions for actions to turn your energy around, let me suggest that you feel the feelings. I mean, really feel them! Here’s one way. Lay on a bed with pillows all around you. Then: Freak out! Thrash and scream, cry, whatever you need to do to move the energy! A quicker, less dramatic, mini-version of this is the Shake-It-Off technique that Z and I do any time we’re feeling emotionally icky! We simply stand up and shake out all our limbs. Vocalization is encouraged. (We also do it before we eat. It’s a great “eat your food, not your feelings” practice.)

After you do one or both of those things, there are more long-term techniques you can do to build your resilience and stamina for these strange and unique days ahead:

1) Consciously cultivate your acceptance of change.

This is listed first because change can be such a trigger for some of us. But when we are prepared for it, by developing and maintaining our viewpoint that all is well regardless of externals, then when things do shift and change, it can be easier to maintain emotional equilibrium.

If there is one thing we can absolutely count on in life, it is that whatever today’s circumstances are, they will change. We may not know when or how. But we do know that they will. It can help to feel more prepared by reminding yourself of this.

Wanting to know what’s going to happen is a basic human desire. And yet we can never know what’s going to happen! How do we let this awareness lead to peace rather than panic? We do this:

2) Consciously cultivate your relationship with Spirit.

The deeper you can feel, hear, and know your Higher Self/the Divine/the All (or whatever you call It), the easier #1 will be. Because as we have a more intimate relationship with Spirit, we have more faith that all is going to actually be okay. This makes it way easier to trust that even as things are shifting and changing, it’s gonna be okay.

3) Practice gratitude.

Ah, yes. That again. We say this all the time. But that’s because it’s such a powerful action with a huge impact!

Your gratitude practice can be small or big. Even finding just three things you’re grateful for each day will dramatically improve your overall attitude about yourself and life. I’m not just saying this. There’s loads research and statistics to prove this. And the stats are mind-blowing! (We have an entire chapter devoted to those statistics in our next book, The OhMyGod Practice.) For now, trust me. Gratitude makes a big and long-lasting difference. And fast!

4) Make lists.

Here are some possible lists I think might be helpful:

a) Things you accomplish each day. Or things that went well, or that you handled well. Be generous with yourself. Give yourself props for getting schtuff done, or doing things well! Even little things! It will help you to acknowledge your strengths. The confidence that comes from knowing your strengths helps to build resilience.

b) Things to do for you, even while being safe in terms of Covid parameters. Especially things that include self-care and time outdoors! Physical health actions.

c) Things to do that you might wish you had gotten done if Covid was gone tomorrow. I mean, what are those things around the house that you can make improvements on that you don’t normally have time to do? Then break those items down into tiny doable steps. And take one little tiny step each day. Once this is over, you’ll be glad you did!

d) Reach out to friends and family and connect in the ways you can. You’re not the only one who’s missing connection.

e) Things you look forward to doing – whether after the pandemic ends, or even tomorrow! Looking forward to things can help your overall mood tremendously!

5) Do more of all the basic health-care things “they” say to do!

These self-loving choices help all the more in times like this. Eat well, get plenty of sleep and rest. Exercise. Meditate and pray. Connect with others. Laugh and have fun.

And, finally and always, know that – this too shall pass. As much as it seems like this is neverending, it’s not. This is a blip on the screen of life. A very dramatic blip, yes. But in the overall arc of a lifetime, a blip nonetheless. It will end. So hang in there! And know that you are loved.

Blessings and Love to you in all you do!

In Joy,

Melissa

How has your pandemic experience been? Share your comments below!

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