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Dear Meli
Is It Ever Okay to Lie?
Dear Meli, What do you think about lies? Do you think we should never lie? I ask because I sometimes find myself telling white lies. Like, I have a coworker who wants to be good friends with me and I don't feel the same way. When they ask me to get together, I say...
How Can I Handle Rejection by a Co-worker?
Dear Meli, I have a co-worker that I thought was my friend. She is also on a spiritual path and we often talk about our journeys. Recently I found out that she is having a party and inviting several people in our office - except me and another co-worker. I am so hurt,...
Is It Unspiritual to Want to Look Good?
Dear Meli, This is maybe going to sound weird, but is it unspiritual to want to look good? I used to be really conflicted about my gender expression. But lately, I've been dressing exactly how I want to, even though it doesn't fit with society's views of how an...
How Do I Find the Discipline to Meditate Regularly?
Dear Meli, When I was in my thirties, I started meditating every day. I loved it! I noticed the difference in my life immediately. I felt calmer and less reactive. It was an amazing difference. I kept up the daily practice for over two decades. And then.... I took a...
How Can I Find Meaning in a Smaller Life?
Dear Meli, I am having a hard time adjusting to my current life. For three decades, I worked in the non-profit sector. I loved my job and found it fulfilling, but it took a lot of time and energy. My husband and I both recently retired and moved to be closer to my...
How Can I Handle the Return of My Addiction?
Dear Meli, My drug of choice is food, especially sugar. For many years, I had it under control. And then came 2022. For whatever reason, I found myself back in the food. I don't attend 12-step meetings, because they never worked for me. I do have a spiritual practice,...
How Do I Handle My Adult Child’s Bad Parenting?
Dear Meli, I am the proud mom of three adult children. All three of my kids have children of their own, and I am so grateful to be a grandmother. Two of my kids are great parents. The other one? Not so much. At least, in my view. She seems incapable of setting...
How Can I Regain My Faith in Humanity After a Tragedy?
Dear Meli, I'm sorry to get so heavy, but I have a really hard one. My mother was murdered. It happened about three years ago. She was in her sixties and was killed by her boyfriend. No one saw it coming. He seemed like a really great guy, and she didn't have a...
Help! My Adult Child and I Have Nothing in Common!
Dear Meli, I am embarrassed to ask you this question, but it's been weighing heavily on me lately. I have two adult children, a son and a daughter. My son and I get along wonderfully. My daughter and I get along well too, at least on the surface, but it's hard for me...
How Do I Stop Telling the Same Sad Story About My Past?
Dear Meli, I had a really hard childhood. In many ways, things are so much better now. I've come a long way and I'm grateful for who I am today. But there's something that still bothers me. When I talk about my childhood, it's hard not to lapse into telling it as a...
How Do I Handle My Constantly Complaining Friend?
Dear Meli, I have a friend I've known since college. I love her dearly, but lately it's getting harder and harder to hang out with her. She's always complaining. She complains about her job. She complains about her wife. She complains about her parents. Sometimes she...
How Do I Release My Inner Grinch?
Dear Meli, I know most people don't agree with me, but I am not a fan of Christmas. It's become so commercial, it drives me crazy. And all the social obligations that crop up this time of year can be overwhelming. My family of origin is all gone, so I don't have to...