Everyone who knows anything about affirmations knows that they’re supposed to be positive.

Otherwise they’d be negamations, and those aren’t helpful in creating positive change.

Right?

Yeah, but.

I’ve had success with rogue affirmations in the past, and it’s happening again.

Rogue affirmations are affirmations that go against the grain. They break rules. They’re rowdy and, well, rogue.

And, in true rogue fashion, they can work in areas where other affirmations fear to tread.

Check it out.

Melissa and I recently performed at a graduation for the Holmes Institute School of Consciousness Studies. Going in, I was nervous about our performance. For one thing, there were lots of moving parts. Multiple chefs for one stew, as it were. Making multiple chefs happy is not easy, let me tell you.

Plus, Melissa and I were going to be performing in front of teachers and mentors, people whose opinion matters to me. And, peppered among these teachers and mentors were folks with whom I’ve had toxic relationships fabulous opportunities for growth.

One in particular.

I thought she wasn’t going to be there, but there she was. In the front row.

It was a lot.

Luckily, everything went well. More than well. Once graduation started, I totally let go of caring who was in the audience. Toxic relationships fabulous growth experiences or not.

Melissa and I performed two songs: one of our own and a cover of “This Is Me” (from The Greatest Showman), to which I wrote a spoken word part. We were joined by the magnificent Rev. Queen Michelle Jordan and a combined choir from multiple Centers. The whole thing was super fun, groovy, and amazing.

All my concerns, all my worries were for naught.

Or so I thought.

The next day, Melissa and I went for a walk. La dee dah, no big deal. Right?

Except that I tripped and fell. Boom, landed on my butt. Hard.

I was worried that I’d maybe broken my foot again, or hurt my arm, but in the end I ended up with just a sore butt and a swollen finger.

Even though there was minimal damage, I was aware that something was up. As Melissa and I talked it out, we realized that our experience at the graduation had been our favorite experience on stage to date.

Ah ha!

So after that wide open, crazy good experience, I stumbled a bit. In every sense of the word.

And if that wasn’t enough, a few days later, I stubbed my toe on our coffee table. Bam. Another stumble.

What is up with this shit these illuminating opportunities for growth? I asked myself.

It wasn’t hard to find the answer. Yes, we’d had an amazing experience at the graduation, but a part of me hadn’t caught up to the amazingness. A part of me was still stuck in I-suck-I-don’t-deserve-this.

Indeed, when I stubbed my toe, I immediately closed my eyes and asked for Help. Instantly, the pain started to recede. As it did so, I noticed myself wondering, Is that okay? Aren’t I supposed to be in pain?

Hmmmm. Major red flag!

In response to that flappin’ red flag, I came up with a new affirmation on the spot.

A rogue affirmation:

I don’t need to hurt myself anymore.

As I said at the beginning, affirmations are supposed to be positive statements. Adding a “negative” word to an affirmation supposedly keeps your consciousness focused on the “negative” experience.

Whatever. Talk to the hand.

Or, in this case, the toe. And the butt. And the finger.

“I don’t need to hurt myself anymore” was exactly what I needed to hear.

It counteracted the forces inside me that wanted to punish me for stepping outside my comfort zone. (Pun intended.)

I couldn’t help but remember the face of my nemesis catalyst for growth in the front row at graduation. A face that sat, stony and silent, while the rest of the audience applauded. The toxic nature of that relationship had been primo territory for I-suck-I-don’t-deserve-this. And now that I was letting her go, the old patterns were trying to reassert themselves.

That’s what my aching toe and butt and finger were trying to tell me.

I don’t need to hurt myself anymore spoke to the voices that developed during my childhood, voices that had lots to say about the parts of me that didn’t fit in to the norm. My nerdliness. My gender identity. My sensitivity. As I grew up, those voices condemned and belittled me on a daily.

Those voices were reanimated by my experience with my nemesis catalyst for growth in the front row at graduation.

No wonder I stumbled and fell.

Thankfully, the voices are way quieter than they used to be. Meditation and personal growth work will do that to a toxic inner voice.

But the voices still try and reassert themselves from time to time. Especially in times of new growth and expansion.

I don’t need to hurt myself anymore.

I said it again and again for days. My toe, butt, and finger healed quickly. The toxic inner clouds parted as I basked in memories of our amazing experience at graduation, and the beautiful life Melissa and I are creating that makes room for such amazing experiences.

I don’t need to hurt myself anymore.

No, the statement doesn’t play by the Rules of Affirmations, but when did playing by the rules get anyone anywhere?

Okay, playing but the rules isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

But being able to bend and break them when necessary?

That’s rogue.

That’s transformational.

And that’s what’s healing me.

I don’t need to hurt myself anymore.

Amen.

What’s your experience with affirmations, rogue and otherwise? Share your comments below!