Living your life in a public forum comes with a bunch of cool things.
Getting to share your work with a wider audience.
Receiving appreciation from peeps who are touched by what you do.
Feeling encouraged to keep going because you can see you’re making a difference.
And then there’s the other side.
The Hater Side.
Actually, everyone has haters. You don’t need to be online to experience the soul-crushing vibes of the People of the Hate.
It’s just that the flavor of the online Haters can be particularly bitter, due to the anonymity of many online forums.
Given this, I discovered a little exercise that puts the Haters in their place.
And not in the way you’re thinking.
It’s best to do this exercise with someone else’s work, as the level of objectivity can bring some really cool results.
Here’s an example:
There’s a video online that I’m pretty much obsessed with. It’s a cover of the Bee Gees’ song “Stayin’ Alive” by a group called Scary Pockets, featuring Lizzy McAlpine.
(If you wanna see for yourself, go HERE. And I’m aware you might hate it. That’s okay. Just don’t leave a negative comment. Or do. You be you.)
I can be in a crappy mood, and listening to this video will raise my energy by at least 76%. At least!
And I can rarely watch it just once. It’s like Lay’s Potato Chips, but without the fat, salt, and artificial flavorings.
It’s an all-natural funky groove.
But it gets better.
I like to read the comments section.
Most of the comments agree with me, often adorably so.
“By the second chord of the chorus, my eyes had rolled back in my head. I love the freedom and creativity you guys express in your work.”
“I’ve been a musician for over 40 years, and I’ve never heard something so original and awesome as this.”
“I can’t stop listening to this over and over and over!!! This is soooo jam! That bass player and the drummer so in sync. The perfect wispy vocals. The smokin’ hot redhead backup singers. The clap solo. The double then triple guitar and bass runs. I just can’t even with this… I have tourettes syndrome for this cover. I just keep repeating.”
“Today I had a rough day at work…but after hearing this again, I’ve pretty much forgotten about the bad stuff. The power of GREAT music…keep up the excellent work, guys and gals!”
Awesome, right?!
I love hearing other people comment about something I love because it feels like we’re experiencing the magic together. Plus, sometimes someone else will point out a particular element of the song that I didn’t catch. So I can go back, watch again, and discover something new.
And then there are the other comments.
They are few and far between, but they’re there:
“Unfortunately this song is not for this singer! What a pitty [sic] for this fantastic sound!”
“I miss 1000% of the soul of the original version. It is too perfect to be messed with. At least, don’t change the chords so much.”
“Just an opinion…. everything about this is horrible and should have never been attempted.”
Whaaaaaaaaat?!?!?!?
As strange as it may sound, I love reading comments like this.
It reminds me that there will always be haters.
It reminds me that not everyone is going to love what you do, even if what you do is incredible to many people.
I also know that folks who are compelled to share negative comments are often not Happy Campers. Whatever you show them, they’ll find fault with it.
Which is why, instead of complaining about the Haters, I like to use their comments to put things in perspective.
My takeaway from the Haters?
1. When you create something, there will always be people who don’t like it.
2. You’re not doing it for them. You’re doing it for those who love it. Who will benefit from it. Who will be inspired to create something themselves, and spread joy in the world.
Melissa and I have had our share of haters. A small share, thank God, but a share nonetheless.
But the longer we do what we do, the less the Haters affect us.
The longer we do what we do, the more we know who we’re doing it for.
We’re doing it for you. And us. And Spirit.
And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go listen to that song just One. More. Time…
What’s your experience with Haters? Share your comments below!
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We are all little insta pots with our vent switches. Most of the time I can let the pressure release naturally. You and Z and other wonderful things in my life help with that natural release. But sometimes, I jut gotta flick that vent switch and let the steam fly. Self hate is a bitch and very hard to contain. I use to be a constant vent switch flicker because of it. But then I heard, “Love is the only Truth, and the only Truth is Love” and discovered that I am lovable and the self hate has dissipated. Thank you Spirit for my vent switch and the Love in my heart that makes me use it less frequently.
Hi Gary,
Great to hear from you. Hope all is well in your world, especially after recent events! 🙂
You are definitely verrrrrry lovable and we are so happy that you are aware of this and growing in self love. And, of course, we are so honored to have played a part in that process.
We are also grateful for the love in your heart. And for your heart in general!!
XOXOZ
I once noticed that 90% of the time when people say they hate something, they actually mean they don’t like it. We say we hate a food, a movie, a song, a color, …superficial things that are just not worth hating. So I decided to try to eliminate the word hate from my vocabulary for a month (or forever). It was so interesting, catching myself using it in ways that embarrassed me.
The 10% of the time when we use hate and really mean it with that passion and intensity, (like when I think “I hate child abuse” or “I hate war”,) it seems to really mean I can’t handle my feelings about that. It upsets me and scares me and makes me feel powerless and so I say I hate it, to push it away. It’s helpful to recognize that because it can help empower me to take action. I recommend trying to eliminate the word hate. It’s a great enlightening experience.
By the way, when I listened to the video clip at first I thought I didn’t like it, but then quickly found my body responding in a way that clearly showed it made me happy. 😊🙏🏼
Hi Bobbi,
Great to hear from you! That is such a great way to look at it. And taking on the practice of eliminating “hate” from our vocabulary sounds like a wonderful thing to play with.
Thank you for this!
XOZ
Thanks for putting a good perspective on haters. I learned at an early age that being a “hater“ was not going to get me where I wanted to go. But sometimes I have written things, unintentionally, that have hurt people’s feelings. By the way, that song is incredible! Thanks for pointing me to it!
Hi Ernie,
So true – being a hater doesn’t get you to a good place. That’s a good perspective.
Thank you for your comment!
XOZ
Guess I’m a lover not a hater…I thought it was Great! Everyone band, backup singers and Lizzy Alpine…nice!
Also love you Z…thanks for sharing!
Hi Pat,
You are so welcome! 🙂
XOZ
OMG…thank you for sharing that incredible cover. Adding that to my playlist asap. And…it’s in my key. What could be better!
As for haters? YES. I know exactly who resonates for me and who resonates with me. I’m good with the handful of people that don’t like what I have to offer. They’re probably not my cup of tea either! 😉💜
Hi Valerie,
I love that! It’s in your key! 🙂
Thank you for your comment!
XOZ
I mostly loved watching those cats actually ENJOYING studio work. (Makes me nervous, that stuff does!) But they’re having fun, and it really feeds the energy.
I know a guitarist (technically better than I’ll ever be) who is forever finding fault with other cats, as if his brilliance is somehow being unfairly overlooked in their favor. I don’t compare. It’s apples and oranges, and people like what they like, and often the less technical act is closer to an audience’s heart.
Hi Les,
Yeah, I’ve also known people who are always finding fault. It’s definitley a choice. 😉
And I totally agree that it’s apples and oranges – and each fruit has its own flavor! Much better to savor each flavor and release the comparison.
Thanks for your comment!
XOZ
Good advice. I really dislike somethings such as a piece of music or a book or a movie that the world loves. (In this case that video was good and actually fit the disco genre of the song well) I just have to accept that there are entire TV show fandoms that I just have to accept. Seinfeld? Really!
Hi Linda,
I also have had entire fandoms that I don’t get at ALL. Every work of art seems to find its audience – and it doesn’t always include me! 🙂
XOZ