We all have him.
You may not always hear him, but he’s there.
Spouting loud, obnoxious stuff.
Most people call it the ego, but lately I’ve come to see this aspect of myself as a loud, sloppy drunk dude.
Yes, it’s a dude.
There are certainly lots of crude women out there. And there are plenty of guys who are soft and sweet, but we’re living in a patriarchal society, and men tend to be just a tad more empowered than women.
So, for me, he’s a dude.
And, like a crass over-empowered drunk dude, he says stupid stuff All. The. Time.
Like the other day, for example.
Melissa and I were preparing to perform at a spiritual center and I was reviewing our spoken word songs for the service.
And then I heard him. Drunkie.
They’re not gonna like it. It’s too weird. And why do you think you can do this, anyway? Melissa’s the performer, not you.
I’d heard this voice before, and I’d learned to take it less and less seriously.
But this time?
This time I heard it for what it was.
A blurry mess of insecurity and defenses, delivered with the passion of someone who’d been out with his buddies all night, downing shots and trading insults.
This was not someone I needed to take seriously.
Not at all.
My revelation allowed me to immediately dismiss what Drunkie had to say.
In the past, his words used to sting. They used to trip me up for hours, even days. Now that I was hip to his inebriated distortions, I didn’t have to let them rule me.
Melissa and I did the gig, and sure enough, Drunkie’s predictions were totally wrong.
Not that I needed proof.
I knew he was wrong the minute he opened his mouth.
For those of you who are wondering how to contend with your own inner Drunkie, I offer this strategy:
First, you need to be aware that he’s there.
Meditation is the #1 way to become more aware of the thoughts – and drunken rants – that go on in your mind.
There are all kinds of way to meditate. Find one that works for you and stick with it, even if it’s only five minutes a day at first.
Then, once you become aware of Drunkie’s rants, take a step back.
Allow yourself to be the sober, designated driver who drives Drunkie home, tucks him in bed, and allows him to sleep it off.
Know that you’re in charge, not Drunkie.
The more you create this loving distance between the two of you, the quieter he’ll get.
Sure, he’ll still spout off from time to time. But you’ll just smile knowingly and grab the keys to the car.
Cuz you’re the driver, not Drunkie.
And how awesome is that?!
How do you deal with your inner Drunkie? Share your comments below!