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Let’s cut to the chase: I’m talking about assumptions.

Assumptions suck.

That’s why sayings like “Don’t make assumptions” make their way into books about powerful agreements that have the capacity to change your life.

And we have groovy little aphorisms like “When I assume, I make an ass out of you and me.”

Indeed, I’m gonna take this Ass idea a step further and call assumptions…

The Big Ass.

(And let’s be clear. I’m not talking about big butts. I like big butts, and I cannot lie. The Big Ass is not, and never shall be, confused with a gorgeous, healthy rear end.)

The Big Ass has the capacity to seriously mess with our lives.

And yet we’re all affected by it. All the time.

The trick is to notice when you’re making a Big Ass of yourself and cut it off at the pass.

Which, keepin’ it real, is easier said than done.

Let’s take me as an example, shall we?

Melissa and I recently went on a four-month, cross-country tour. In the process of planning our tour, we assumed we’d be doing several gigs in Texas.

We didn’t see the Big Ass for what it was at first, because it seemed reasonable. We had several contacts in Texas, all of whom had said they wanted us to come.

But then things started to fall apart. One center had a crisis and lost their minister. Another had a bunch of unexpected expenses and budget cuts. A third was unable to make the Post-Covid transition from virtual back to in-person services.

Texas went from a land of abundant gigs to a parched, teeny landscape of Dallas, and Dallas only.

At first, we didn’t see the Big Ass writing on the Big Ass wall.

We were too busy making assumptions.

We assumed the new administration would welcome us in Center Number One. We assumed the budget crisis would resolve itself in Center Number Two. We assumed the online community would do a special in-person service in Center Number Three.

Needless to say, none of these things happened. Our Big Ass led us to a Big Dead End. And there’s nothing worse than a Big Ass Dead End.

Another assumption we’d made was that we weren’t going to Florida. It was too far out of our way and we had too many other stops to make. But losing Texas opened up Florida as a possibility.

In other words, letting go of Big Ass Texas opened up a whole new world.

Not surprisingly, the Florida gigs came together quite nicely. The Centers were open, welcoming, and super enthusiastic about having us there.

(Did we love the weather in Florida? We did not.

Will we go to Florida earlier in the year next time? Yes we will.)

I recently posted about an assumption I made as a kid that kept me confused for decades.

The Big Ass has the capacity to reek serious mischief in our lives.

As a potential remedy, I have an intervention.

When you find yourself starting to get stuck in preconceived ideas and expectations, ask yourself:

Does these thoughts give me a Big Ass?

(I would say You’re welcome, but I don’t want to make assumptions. Instead I’ll just say: Happy Big Ass Hunting!!)

 

What’s your experience with making a Big Ass of yourself? Share your comments below!

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