Let’s cut to the chase: I’m talking about assumptions.
Assumptions suck.
That’s why sayings like “Don’t make assumptions” make their way into books about powerful agreements that have the capacity to change your life.
And we have groovy little aphorisms like “When I assume, I make an ass out of you and me.”
Indeed, I’m gonna take this Ass idea a step further and call assumptions…
The Big Ass.
(And let’s be clear. I’m not talking about big butts. I like big butts, and I cannot lie. The Big Ass is not, and never shall be, confused with a gorgeous, healthy rear end.)
The Big Ass has the capacity to seriously mess with our lives.
And yet we’re all affected by it. All the time.
The trick is to notice when you’re making a Big Ass of yourself and cut it off at the pass.
Which, keepin’ it real, is easier said than done.
Let’s take me as an example, shall we?
Melissa and I recently went on a four-month, cross-country tour. In the process of planning our tour, we assumed we’d be doing several gigs in Texas.
We didn’t see the Big Ass for what it was at first, because it seemed reasonable. We had several contacts in Texas, all of whom had said they wanted us to come.
But then things started to fall apart. One center had a crisis and lost their minister. Another had a bunch of unexpected expenses and budget cuts. A third was unable to make the Post-Covid transition from virtual back to in-person services.
Texas went from a land of abundant gigs to a parched, teeny landscape of Dallas, and Dallas only.
At first, we didn’t see the Big Ass writing on the Big Ass wall.
We were too busy making assumptions.
We assumed the new administration would welcome us in Center Number One. We assumed the budget crisis would resolve itself in Center Number Two. We assumed the online community would do a special in-person service in Center Number Three.
Needless to say, none of these things happened. Our Big Ass led us to a Big Dead End. And there’s nothing worse than a Big Ass Dead End.
Another assumption we’d made was that we weren’t going to Florida. It was too far out of our way and we had too many other stops to make. But losing Texas opened up Florida as a possibility.
In other words, letting go of Big Ass Texas opened up a whole new world.
Not surprisingly, the Florida gigs came together quite nicely. The Centers were open, welcoming, and super enthusiastic about having us there.
(Did we love the weather in Florida? We did not.
Will we go to Florida earlier in the year next time? Yes we will.)
I recently posted about an assumption I made as a kid that kept me confused for decades.
The Big Ass has the capacity to reek serious mischief in our lives.
As a potential remedy, I have an intervention.
When you find yourself starting to get stuck in preconceived ideas and expectations, ask yourself:
Does these thoughts give me a Big Ass?
(I would say You’re welcome, but I don’t want to make assumptions. Instead I’ll just say: Happy Big Ass Hunting!!)
What’s your experience with making a Big Ass of yourself? Share your comments below!
Want Sneak Peeks, Insider Info, and other Fun Stuff?! Become a member of OhMyGod Life!
If you had not made it to Florida, I wouldn’t have attended that soul inspiring house concert, I wouldn’t have seen you pour your hearts out at CSL-CC and I wouldn’t be here, now, on Patreon with you. Utmost Love- Diana
Hi Diana,
Thank you for that! Yay! We are grateful to have met you in Florida and that you are now one of our Patreon peeps. Yay!
XOXOZ
Do you mind if I call it “The Big Tush”? Got a gig teaching at UC Davis for two quarters in a brand new program. My Big Tush thought it was going to be 3 quarters. Nope. My Big Tush thought I would be asked back for the fall. Nope. I’m learning to be gentle with my Big Tush because it is only following my brain’s need to seek out and establish pattern. It’s when the pattern falls apart that I scream m##%%%f#%%%%r!
Thank you so much for your lovely authentic posts!
Hi Gary!
I love The Big Tush! And I appreciate your observation that assumptions come from the brain’s need to seek out patterns. That is soooooo true.
It was soooo wonderful to see you in Napa! 🙂
BIG Love,
XOZ
Will you ever be doing a gig at the Center for Spiritual Living in Santa Rosa? We don’t have problems with our ministers. We have money. We have made it out of the COVID crisis. And we are not in Texas. (I know there is a Santa Rosa in New Mexico, this one is in California.)
Hi Linda,
We would LOVE to come to CSLSR! We have asked about coming there in the past and didn’t receive an invite. Tell them to invite us!! 🙂
XOXOXOZ
My Big Ass got me moving to Reno, thinking I was going to receive financial help from a friend who “offered to help financially ” I moved and I still haven’t heard from him.
Hi Lucia,
I’m so sorry to hear that! I know that assumptions can lead us to some difficult places, but in this case that sounds really hard. Sending you love as you navigate the next steps!
XOZ
I too would like to find a different word to use that Ass. And Tush doesn’t exactly fit for me. As I get ready to leave on a week’s camping trip this morning – I really need to keep this concept in mind. Gary’s “adding the brains needs to find patterns” helps me clarify what my mind is doing when I am constantly working the best way to get everything done in the “perfect and most efficient way.” And – don’t lose sight Dale of what you are thinking about what my mind is planning for my ever hard working wife. (wouldn’t it all just go better if she (ok the world) did it MY Way.
And to add a little spice to this conversation that I am having with myself (ok with you too) I think of Rev Sara’s prayer for me on our weekly group prayer call “Even though there may be a list – things are falling in to place …”
Thank you for this moment of Spirit and understanding of how my mind works. (okay back to finding my perfect replacement word for Ass.) hummmmm – ya think i need to let go of perfect? Ya me too
much love looking forward to seeing you in Sacramento in October.
Hi Dale!
I can unfortunately relate to the Right Way assumption. That’s a tough one. Especially in relationships!
Thank you for sharing Rev. Sara’s prayer. I love that! Affirming that things are falling into place is wonderful. It reminds me of the Abraham teachings and their reminder: “Things are always working out for me!”
And keep me posted on that Ass substitute! 😉
See you in October!
XOZ
Big X (not to be confused with that thing formerly known as Twitter). Big Expectations. I get into the mindset that if I only organize Perfectly then my Big Expectations will materialize.
Letting go of attachment to outcome. Knowing that everything always works out for my highest good.
Today when I say Big X – I feel the energy of Rev Sara’s prayer. And the with additional clarity of my mind trying to find patterns … maybe I can find the pattern of Spirit.
Thanks for the conversation 😎
Big X. I like it! 🙂
I was reading today about the Enneagram One, sometimes called the Perfectionist. It talked about the illusion of perfection, and all the damage that illusion does to our expectations and assumptions. Big X for sure! Even though I’m not a One, it was still helpful for me to think of the “perfect” as often illusory.
I appreciate your comment about finding the pattern of Spirit. Beautiful!
Thank you for your insights!
Hi Z! It was so wonderful meeting you and Melissa in Ocala, FL and seeing you again in Asheville, NC! I love, love, love you both and your messages! I finally became a Patron today! Yay! I tried to sign up for podcasts but I do not know what I am doing. I will reach out for support from your team soon, as I will really enjoy listening to your upbeat perspectives on life and our world. Love the message about assumptions. I have been more conscious of exactly that lately, however, your story about your tour led me to realize that I make many more than I ever realized! Thanks for sharing. Much love to you and Melissa! I look forward to seeing you again, and to hearing your podcasts regularly in the near future!
Hi Pegatha!
Yes, it was wonderful meeting you in Ocala and seeing you in Asheville! Thank you so much for joining our Patreon family!
We look forward to connecting with you as well.
XOXOZ